Bill Johnson quotes

"Some people would have no belief system were it not for the error of others. Their thoughts and teachings are the antithesis of what others believe and practice."

"While we often huddle in groups of likeminded people, those with faith blaze a trail that threatens all of our comfort zones. Faith offends the stationary..... Smith [Wigglesworth] is well loved today... but it's only because he's dead. Israel loved their dead prophets too."

"I know God can do it. So does the devil. At best that is hope... not faith. Faith knows He will."

"Notice it does not say, faith comes from having heard."

Perfect word for me tonight...

"If we love a human being and do not love God, we demand of him every perfection and every rectitude, and when we do not get it we become cruel and vindictive; we are demanding of a human being that which he or she cannot give. There is only one Being Who can satisfy the last aching abyss of the human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Why our Lord is apparently so severe regarding every human relationship is because He knows that every relationship not based on loyalty to Himself will end in disaster. Our Lord trusted no man, yet He was never suspicious, never bitter. Our Lord's confidence in God and in what His grace could do for any man, was so perfect that He despaired of no one. If our trust is placed in human beings, we shall end in despairing of everyone." -- Oswald Chambers

law and grace and the high place...

It’s a high calling to follow.
One can either take it as rough,
Or smooth.
It could be a challenge to choose the high road,
Or just an answer.

The high road is framed with flowers--
You can sniff all day if you so choose.
This is pleasant .
But:
Eyes on height make you tired.
You think you climbed the distance.
You think you have to keep from falling.

So remember it was just an answer
That lifted you up and out of the deep.
It was just a waking that made you leave your sleep.

Your journey can be a receiving—
You won’t even notice the steep.

my personal review of "The Ugly Truth"

I saw the movie "The Ugly Truth" a couple of nights ago. I think it was crap, not only for the crude content in the dialog between the characters, but more importantly for the underlying assumptions the movie made on human beings. I know my perspective is different from the general public, so maybe most people would disagree with me, but that doesn't change my opinion.

Personally I believe men and women are much more valuable than what I gather "most people" think they are. I think women should be respected and honored as well as men being respected and honored. We are children of God. We are His creation made for His glory. Women are not objects for men's pleasure, nor are men ignoramuses, and they are not incapable of valuing women as human beings created for God's glory. Perhaps the general public does think men are incapable of thinking with their brains and not their ding-a-lings, and women are over-analytical, over-emotional, and over-complicated. However, I think it's sad when these sentiments are not only accepted with no protest, but joked about so lightly.

I am a wife, and I expect my husband to value me as a human being and to respect me beyond what my body can do for him, and to honor me by loving me and cherishing me like Jesus loves the church. Jesus loves unconditionally and died for the church. Jesus doesn't look to the church to gratify cravings or to pleasure Him. In fact he delights in making His people happy. He blesses them. It's only as he loves them that they love Him-- or that they are even capable of loving Him.

And regarding men-- The sentiments expressed in this movie are even more insulting to me because of the way it depicts them. God has called the male species to a HIGH calling. He has placed them in leadership. He has told us they are to be examples of Him in marriage and family. It is absolutely pitiable that the world thinks men only think with their reproductive organs and not their minds and hearts. It has become a joke, and men hear the joke, justify the behavior, and drop their expectation levels to that low. If you tell someone they're incapable of true love over and over again, eventually they will believe you. Repetition breeds an eventual response-- it lives up (or down) to it.

Mature Christians can't continue to join in the revelry of the world's base humor. It's like there is a disconnect in the mind for some people. God wants to teach us a new nature. We are free from old mentalities!

I know men who honor women. Yes, it is extremely attractive. But more importantly, it's like Jesus! And we all know the BEAUTIFUL truth, that if a man truly loves a woman, and can communicate that love and honor to her, she will be won over. She will respond in the kind of love that helps him and makes him happy. He will exemplify respect in her eyes. I find it ironic, sad, and pitiable that men think they will find respect and satisfaction in the exact opposite of this truth. You treat a woman like an object and she will not respect you. Put her under that kind of pressure and she will only become frustrated and unhappy.

When it all comes down to it, women and men both have to find their satisfaction and contentment in Christ alone. If they are doing that, everything good flows from it. Instead of trying to MAKE the other person behave in a way that will make you happy, just be happy and it will be infectious!

It is a high calling to find happiness in Christ. I can only speculate the struggle it must be for men to look to God for satisfaction, especially when they need that physical aspect of relationship the way that they do. With the pressures of today's society, it's only understandable that men need to find relief at home, when the work day is over. The trick is that the enemy would have men believe they should be satisfied and find relief in their wives/significant others, instead of His Holy Spirit. A wife is a blessing, but not THE blessing. Peace comes from Jesus alone.

For women, it is just as hard of a feet to find satisfaction in Christ. We DO analyze everything. I believe it's part of who God is-- to think and feel deeply, but the temptation is to find fault with others, to vocalize those faults, or even just daily struggles, to a point that we become detrimental to ourselves and others. We also have a tendency to try to solve problems in our own strength-- problems that only God can solve (or has already paid for through His death!).

And then more specifically about relationships, even when a man DOES treat a woman like an object, and joke about sex like it's trivial, for women to turn from that, look to Jesus and find our worth in Him-- even though He is invisible. We have to rest to hear Him, and that requires some serious refocusing.

"The Ugly Truth" is NOT the truth. It is reality in this culture of America. But it's not the truth. And I would venture to say that it is one of the major factors in the great gulf this country is forming between the reality of the Kingdom and the reality of daily experience in the United States. The enemy of God desires to create division, and what better way to divide the church of God but to start in the home and create one between the most concentrated (and consecrated!) version of "relationship" that there is? And beyond even that, the division between us and God, the battle that wages in our minds between believing the image of God that He made us and accepting the image the world thinks we are. Are we going to ingest the produce of the world and it's vision of the perfect image of "MAN" and "WOMAN?"

So from a Christian girl's perspective, "The Ugly Truth" is a big fat lie.

Great news! The devil has been deceiving me!

It's great news because now that I know he's doing it, I can make him stop.

We know that Satan can't compare to our God, and we know that the only power he has is the power we give him when we allow him to deceive us. For a long time I have taken that knowledge and almost become oblivious to the fact that he attacks me. Since he is so powerless compared to God, and God lives in me, and I give the enemy "no place" and belittle him in my thoughts, I almost ignore him altogether thinking he can't hurt me.

So when I realized that he has been deceiving me for a very long time, it made me happy, because now I know what to do.

I've been struggling with eating. I want to eat healthy food and exercise. I want to be in good shape. For years, though, I have felt like I'm struggling with being fat, with fat itself! But the struggle isn't against the fat. That's like getting angry with a symptom instead of the root cause of that symptom. The real problem is that I have been deceived into thinking that self-control and wisdom are something I have to fight for. They were a free gift from Jesus when He died so that I could die as Him and take on His nature. I have a new nature! Self-control and wisdom are part of my new nature! Anything that opposes it, whether it be lies from the enemy or habbits I've formed by believing those lies-- THAT is what the struggle is against-- those powers and principalities. Not with my body. Not with food. Not even with "being healthy." With anything that tells me that what Jesus paid for is something I have to earn, muster up, and fight for. I battle the lie from the enemy that tells me I don't have His nature.

When you realize that Christ's self-control and Christ's wisdom are yours because He died so that you could have them, it's pretty infuriating when anyone tells you otherwise. Enough to make you want to punch someone in the face.

So praise God I realize I've been deceived! Now there's something I can do about it! I don't have to take this anymore! Woohoo!

These are some notes I jotted down from a message I listened to yesterday, "Is Your House Haunted, Part 3." Pretty cool!

"I got this prophecy and all hell broke loose."
"Good, it must be a real one!"
"Why would you say that?"
"Because hell doesn't care about false ones."

someone else is listening to your prophecies. Just like when God said, "this is my Son in whom I'm well pleased." the enemy heard that, so when the Spirit lead Jesus into the desert, the testing came as DOUBT of that word. Satan tried to get Jesus under the curse by telling Him to work for His identity ["if you are the Son of God, do this and that].

How do you know if you're being led by the Spirit? You will have a wilderness experience in which your identity will be tested. And every time you get a promotion, it'll mess with your emotion. There will be a test again.

God calls what is not as though it is, so that we have to rely on Him for the grace to be or do what He said.

When you think you can do it, you can't. When you think you can't, that's when you're ready.

How I hear this song:

I think people can be used when they don't even know it, and God can speak through ANYthing to get his message across. I heard this song and I never heard it the way the writer intended for me to hear it, I don't think, because I heard it as a love song between God and man. This is how I hear this song. OH BOY! I wish we could re-record this song with 2 voices, and match a dance to it. The joy of the bliss of being IN LOVE!

[ ] given to clarify sentiment

God:
[look at the] Birds flying high--
You know how I feel [for you].
Sun in the sky--
You know how I feel.
Breeze driftin' on by--
You know how I feel.
[Listen to me!]It's a new dawn.
It's a new day.
It's a new life...
For Me
And I'm feeling---- [it is so very] Good.

God:
[See the] Fish in the sea--
You know how I feel.
River running free!
You know how I feel!
Blossom in the tree...
You know how I feel.
It's a new dawn,
It's a new day,
It's a NEW LIFE...
[and it's] For me.
And I. AM. feeling good.

Dragonfly out in the sun! you know what I mean, don't you know?
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean?
Sleep in peace when the day is done-- THAT is what I mean!
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world!
[All things are] For me.
Foooooor MEEEE! [woo hoo!]


Us, to the stars:

Stars when you shine,
You know [understand] how I feel [because of Him!]!

God to us:
[smell the] Scent of the pine,
[And] You [will] know how I feel [towards you]!

Us to God:
Oh freedom is mine!
And I know how I feel!

God:
It's a new dawn!
It's a new day!
It's a new life!

Us:
it's a new dawn,
It's a new day,
It's a new life!

God:
It's a new dawn,
It's a new day,
It's a new life!

Us:
It's a new life!
For me [because of YOU!]

God and us:
And I'm feeling good... I'm feeling good.... I feel so good.... I feel so good.

WHAT!

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are YOU Kidding ME?

Hahahaha. God is so so so funny. Hahahaha.

So I wrote that thing about Ezra the other day. hahaha
And then I was listening to a podcast this morning, and this guy starts talking about that exact story, and this part stood out to me, when he says:
"Cyrus released the Israelites to go back and rebuild their country... So they go back and the story Ezra is the book of them rebuilding the temple. It's the book of Cyrus letting them go back and rebuild the temple. And the reason I love these two books is because there's such a great metaphor or parable of the way that the Holy Spirit works in our life. The Holy Spirit comes into our life and the first thing He does in our life is He builds the temple. How many know we become the temple of the Holy Spirit the day we receive Jesus? Not five days later, not six years later, He immediately inhabits us and we become the house of God-- the temple of the Living God."

I just thought it completely ironic that this guy mentioned that story four days after God told me to look it up, specifically, the decree from Cyrus for provision for the Israelites to rebuild the temple. All things were provided for and restored to Israel without Israel having to earn or strive for that provision. BAM.

Last night, or this morning, I wrote this down:
What’s going to BOMB old school teaching is new school teaching—not what’s WRONG with them, but what’s RIGHT with them.
Then I saw a picture of a bomb dropping, but it looked like a firework, and when it exploded it shot out smaller explosions that exploded, to look like a firework—basically that this bomb would spread and spread out.

The Lord just lead me to Ezra 6:3 which talks about the decree concerning the house of God at Jerusalem, that it should be rebuilt, the place of burnt offerings and sacrifices, paid for by the treasury, and all the precious treasures to be returned. Commanding the enemies to keep away—“let the work on this house of God alone.” And the cost be given from the province “beyond the river,” and that God would overthrow anybody who would try to destroy this house.

I feel like God is rebuilding me—bigger and better than before, even more than my closest times with Him had been.

Maybe this word is for someone else, too. I must remember Ezra 6.

excerpt from journal...

So this past Saturday there was a women’s meeting. Last week something really cool happened which I will tell you after this, and I had a testimony. I had also had that dream about “pressing in” with Lynn Hiles and the women and wondered if I should share that. A couple weeks ago Kathy had told me that she felt like I was supposed to share at the women’s meeting, but that she had scheduled my mom to share for this one, so I would have the next one. I was surprised but not nervous, and wondered what it was that I was supposed to share. So when this testimony happened, and I found out that my mom was going to Gorham and wasn’t going to be at the women’s meeting, I wondered if I was supposed to share this (past) Saturday. But, when I got there, Kathy had prepared something that had to do with the convention, so it didn’t go and I didn’t end up sharing.

BUT, we did pray for people, and I shared a few things. We prayed for someone, and I had this picture of her picking strawberries. And they were little fruits, but then you zoomed out and she was in a strawberry field that went on as far as the eye could see. I didn’t really get it and didn’t know if it was just in my head. But then Lori said that she felt like this girl was sad, and that she was trying to touch this situation, and that situation, and that there were things all around her, but she felt like she was having no impact, but that in the future, the things that she did would have effects that WOULD touch people’s lives. So then my little vision made perfect sense, and I shared it, and said that, to this girl, the fruit she’s picking is small, but if you zoom out, the big picture is that it could feed multitudes! Super cool. God is humorous because he chooses to use things that don't make sense to us in our own natural thinking.

Then we prayed for another lady. Her brother is going through some stuff and she is really feeling burdened about it all. A bunch of people prayed and prophesied to her.

Now let me interject that the night before the meeting, I was unable to sleep. It was the first night my hubby was home and his snoring was keeping me up. I ended up reading some Psalms, and Psalm 46 just really stuck out to me. I read it about 4 times. But the part that stuck out was that it said,
“Come, behold the works of the Lord; see what desolations he has brought on the earth…”
And I was like—that doesn’t sound good!
But then it continues, “He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow, and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.
‘Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.’
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.”
So, in other words, the desolation it was talking about was God’s destroying WAR! Destroying division! Destroying weapons and defenses, and the effects were that the nations would exalt Him.
Since this lady was burdened by her brother's divorce, this fit perfectly. When I had left for the meeting Saturday morning, I felt like I should take my bible because that Psalm was for someone else—and it turned out to be her. It also spoke of the river that makes glad the city of the Lord [where the Lord lives (us!)], which went right along with what someone else had been praying before I shared the Psalm. It was all very cool.
Then Kathy said to me that she had seen a movie recently that had Clint Eastwood in it, and in this movie there was a guy who was digging for gold, and there was this huge boulder, and he knew that there was gold under it, so he and Clint Eastwood were trying to break it to get under it. Then the “bad guy” came, who was huge, and in an effort to try to scare Clint and his buddy, the guy slammed that huge boulder and cracked it open. Eventually Clint and pal reaped the benefits, and she was saying that-- what the enemy means for evil against me will be turned into God’s goodness toward me, and a testimony. This goes right along with what Kathy G. has said to me in the past, that what was supposed to destroy me, God would make my testimony.
I’m not sure what these words are referencing at this point. They could be any number of things, but they definitely confirm each other.

Anywho. So My other super cool story is this. About a month ago I bought a music CD on Itunes—Kim Walker. I don’t know how I found it. I think maybe I was looking up someone else that I liked, and it said “people who bought this also bought this!” And so I clicked on it, and saw that 5 out of 10 tracks were spontaneous. So, this caught my attention of course, and I wrote her name down.
So I finally bought it (called "Here is My Song") and it was FANTASTIC. Totally spontaneous, good words, totally anointed CD. I kept telling Lisa about it, but she was busy and hadn't looked into it.
I decided I would just BUY Lisa the CD so I went to Morning Star and was surprised to find that there were no CD’s by Kim Walker there. I asked the girl working there if she had heard of her, and she said no. She looked her up in their system, and she wasn’t even available to order! So I thought maybe I got the name wrong, and the girl googled her, and there she was, but there was no way for her to order the CD for me. I told the girl it would be my mission to get those CD’s in that store! Haha. So, I put that on my list of people to connect.

Side note: I’ve felt like I’m supposed to connect certain people lately, like what happened with Blair Wingo. You see, I listen to this podcast called Indie Feed, for performance poetry, and there’s been ONE Christian poem since I started listening a year ago. The podcaster said he would like to hear more, so I wrote to him and told him about Blair Wingo. He wrote back and said he’d check her out, but that he preferred not to “cold-call” poets, and that it would probably be more effective if I talked to her. So I wrote to Blair and told her about the podcast, and suggested she submit some poetry as an alternative to the terrible messages that were being “cast” out there. She wrote back! And said that she definitely would, and thanked me for informing her about the podcast! It felt so great to know that I had just acted on a nudge and now there is a possibility that people who have never heard the gospel in a powerful way may now hear it from a poem by Blair through that podcast!
So I felt like God told me that I was going to be a “connector” for a time, and so I’ve got this list of people to connect with each other, or with books, or CD’s, etc. So I said—Kim Walker, you are going to meet my Christian Bookstore! There are people that need anointed music like that, and it’s so hard to find.
So that was on my list, but I hadn’t acted on it yet. However, last Thursday I was working and I was listening to a preaching message that I had downloaded on my podcast. I don’t know where I got it, because I thought I had gotten it from Keith Moore’s website, but when I went back later to check it out, it wasn’t there. So at this point, I don’t know how I got it. The preacher was giving a message on “The Language of the Spirit” and it was all about how God uses unusual ways to communicate with His people because A: It’s adventurous, and faith is FUN, B: It’s the glory of God to conceal a matter and the honor of kings to search it out, and C: only people who really seek Jesus will get these messages because they take discernment and actual THOUGHT. It was a great message, and related to things happening with me anyway. So, the preacher’s name was Bill Johnson.
So that night, I wanted to look him up because I wanted to hear more, but as I said, I couldn’t find his message on Keith Moore’s site, so I had to go back to my Ipod to look up his name. So once I saw it was Bill Johnson, I googled him, and came to the website of his church, which is—get this—4 hours from Carmel! If I had known I SO would have wanted to visit that church! They have miracles REGULARLY. He was saying how it is his goal to not perform miracles and have people circle around HIM, but to impart to people the faith that THEY can be the vessels that God uses to heal the sick. Miracles are a regular occurrence at that church, because people EXPECT God to perform them. They have this “prayer room” that basically, if you go there, you WILL be healed.
Anywho, so I’m looking all through the website, and I see “music,” so I click on it and I see a big list of CD’s. But the must surprising thing was that on the first CD I see: “Kim Walker.” Kim Walker? Kim Walker! And the next CD: Kim Walker. And the next, and the next. Turns out she is a worship leader Bill Johnson’s church: Bethel Church in Redding, CA! Amazing. And there are a lot of CD’s that look GREAT! I can’t wait to order more!
What a blessing. So I wrote to “Jesus Culture,” which is the name of the people who put out the CD’s, and more specifically, to Kim, and told them what had happened and asked them how we could get those CD’s in our bookstore, and if there was anything I could do to assist, I would. I got an email back the next day and someone said they would pass my email along to the product accountant to see how they could get them in there, but haven’t heard back yet. I pray they write back! It would be A-W-E-S-O-M-E to have those CD’s in there. They are so anointed. They are real worship!
I just thought it was so cool that God gave me a task, blessed me through the music AND through the message by Bill Johnson, and then just strung it all together and lead me right to where I needed to be to complete the task. I don’t feel like the testimony is done yet. I was thinking I would share it on Sunday, but I didn’t feel the release to, so I waited and told Pastor Steve I might want to share something this coming Sunday when he’s gone [he’s going to NC for Bishop’s son’s wedding].
So that’s my story! Glad I finally wrote it down so I won’t forget in the future.



Note I wrote to myself while cleaning last Thursday:

- Jesus intended to pass the boat by until someone called out to Him. (Mark 6:48) [I had just written a question mark by this passage a few days before hearing the message by Bill Johnson in which he mentioned this passage!]
- If the message God has given you is not released, it will die in the house. [just like my dream with Lynn Hiles]
- Pray for someone else the way you would want them to pray for you—with specificity and fervency.
- If God only moved through Bishop or whoever, we can expect nothing to happen until someone like that comes back. But the same Spirit that is in them is in us. All we need to do is focus on Him and listen to what He is saying.
- Do not cease pressing, or listening, or it will dissipate. It’s the honor of kings to seek out God’s mysteries and discover them.

UPDATE: Here is the response letter I received today (March 9)

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for emailing us! Yes, we would love to get our cds in your local bookstores!! We run all of our orders through online, and we offer a discount of 40% off if you order 10 or more of an album - www.ibethel.org. I know with the exchange rate and shipping this can still be kinda hard, so other than that- itunes is amazing!!!

Thanks for emailing us!! So glad God led you to Kim's music!! She is amazing!!

Blessings,

Jacquelyn

So, Maybe I can't get the CD's in the bookstore, especially since I don't work there. But perhaps this whole thing was just to lead ME to that website. Because honestly, it has very much bolstered my faith. To be able to watch testimonies, almost daily, of people experiencing miracles, and to find anointed music CD's. Not to mention the preaching is SO good. Also, to share it with people in my church.

So, for future reference, here are some links.

Bethel Church, in Redding, CA
recent testimonies from Bethel Church
Bethel Store, with music, books, etc.
Bill Johnson Ministries
Jesus Culture

"One of the great things about learning how to host His presence is-- we actually get more done accidentally than we ever used to get done on purpose."

-- Bill Johnson

notes to self

Very few churches preach the gospel every week. Instead, we learn lessons from the Bible, but ultimately every message should involve the gospel--> the cross and the effects of Jesus' life and death and resurrection-- because that is the gospel. Every message should be "seasoned with grace," which means every message should involve learning or being convicted of righteousness. We are the new creation of Christ. Every "message" should point to our salvation, and our answer: Jesus (Christian movies, music, teaching, writing, etc.). Anything without this good news is a substitute for the gospel.

I had a dream once in which we positioned all the chairs to point toward the entrance of the church sanctuary, and the podium was right in front of it. The speakers were surrounding the door.

Church should be centered on the door [to our salvation]. Everything else should surround that and should have to enter through it.

I was sitting at the computer and I felt a big drop of water fall on my skin between my forehead and my temple. I looked up to the ceiling because it must have fallen from there, but there was no watermark. I went to wipe it away and I could not tell if it was wet or not. Was it wet? Was it oily? Was it dry? I didn’t see anything but I couldn’t tell what I felt. All day long I was thinking, what could that have meant, Lord? This must have been on Wednesday morning.

Thursday I listened to a message by Bill Johnson about “the language of the Spirit” and he was telling how God works mysteriously in order that it can be an adventure, and so that who are truly seeking will discover Him. It is the glory of God to conceal a thing and the honor of kings to seek it out. So I was thinking about the raindrop that fell on my head. And that’s what I thought when it happened: rain. The beginning of rain. And I went in the bedroom and sang “Mercy is falling like the sweet spring rain.”

So I went to the chiropractor’s today and I laid down on the table and these words were playing on the radio:

“Feel the rain on your skin, No one else can feel it for you, Only you can let it in, No one else, no one else, Can speak the words on your lips, Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.”

I got into the car to drive home and there was a minjee. I started singing, “Thank you for the minjee, it is a sign that spring is coming.” Not sure if those were the exact words but something like that.It wasn't warm or anything, but there it was.

Spring is coming. Things are going to start coming to life.

why act that way

why not to manipulate someone-
why not to work a crowd-
why not to tussle over a mathematical error-
why not to see how much you can get away with-
why not to cheat the system-
why some just let other people go, even when it's not their turn-
why some tip extra-
why some apologize even when they were right-
why some strive for integrity-
why not to lie-
why no sarcasm-
why only encouragement-
why no judgment-
why a standard of mercy-
why a standard of grace---

"nothing in rivalry or vain-glory,
but in humility of mind
one another counting more excellent than yourselves"

Trouble

Do you believe trouble is stronger than God?

I ask because a couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with someone, and the person was saying how "you never know until you really go through something" that your convictions are strong. In other words, it takes trials and tribulations to really make you grow.

I know that it feels that way. Once you've made it through something terrible or hard, you realize how much you've grown as a result of it-- that the sum of your poor choices or your endurance turns into a more glorified you. And I don't disagree with that. If you go through something difficult, and make it out to the other side, you truly are a different person, and if you've relied on God to get you through, you've probably grown closer to him.

But there is something I believe that is hard to say because it sounds so simplistic and naive: God wants to teach you by His Spirit and His Word, not through hardships. Isn't God able to teach someone something just as skillfully as circumstances? Isn't His spirit powerful enough to change you from the inside out, without relying on experience in the system of the world? Through our failures and our corrections? I propose that He IS more powerful, and more able to teach us and change us into matured, cunning and wise people without having to go through hardships.

But, Missy, what about sin? After all, the one who has been forgiven much loves much. Yes, that's true, but Jesus told those he healed to go and sin no more. He would tell them to do what was possible, not what was unlikely. If His true intent was for those people to never sin again, yet he worked through tribulations and forgiveness of perpetual sin, why would he tell them never to sin again? We all want to "love much." Does that mean we have to choose between obeying the word of Christ or never experiences the most mammoth love?

No! Because guess what folks. Jesus alREADY forgave much. He forgave the sins of the world! He forgave every sin ever committed and every sin that will ever BE committed. To me that seems like MUCH SIN. Therefore, MUCH LOVE is available from humanity.

We have to think from that perspective-- that when Jesus said, "it is finished," he was talking about the whole shabang. He paid for ALL sin. ALL. When I declared that he was the Christ and my salvation, and accepted His sacrifice to atone for my sins, that was ALL my sins-- past and present. Therefore, it was THEN that I was "forgiven much," and it was then that I was enabled to "love much." Jesus isn't keeping tabs on our sins anymore, and the woman who turned into a crack-head at age 12, became a prostitute, had three abortions, and finally met the Lord can love just as much as I can love, because the sin in my heart was just as dark as the sin in hers. There is no scale. All sin leads to death, and Christ paid for all sin. If you think about it-- we know that God is love, and God inhabits us, therefore, how boundless the love inside of us is!

So again I ask, is trouble stronger than God? Your life reflects your thoughts. If you thought that only people who have really gone through hell can mature and "learn" the truth, I encourage you to rethink things. We have all gone through hell-- we were all separated from God. It was Jesus who took those keys to hell and death and liberated us from it. He is wisdom. He is the essence of true unconditional and limitless love. Let's get to know HIM, and He will teach us who we are-- and let's mature THAT way.

Paul was love-able

The beginning of Philippians always seemed so disjointed to me. I felt like Paul was chasing bunnies, going from one topic to another, until I read it tonight in the Young’s Literal translation. Without first reading it in another more temporary interpretation, I read it, and it opened up.
If you read it in something like the NIV, when it gets around verse 21, he starts to sound like he’s having a conversation with himself, trying to work something out in his thinking process. It sounds as if he is deciding between two good options, living in the body and producing “fruitful labor,” or departing to go and live with Jesus and leave all worldly cares behind. Then he says something like, “oh heck with it. I’ll stick around here because you people need me so bad. I need to be around so that ‘your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.’ Be good children while I’m gone so that I get good news while I’m here in prison. Don’t be discouraged by your enemies, because God wants you to not only believe on Him, but to suffer for him like I am suffering.’ And you think he means the suffering he is experiencing being in jail.

But when I think about it now, in addition to what I am about to share, I must think: I don’t believe Paul was suffering in prison the way that we think he was. Paul didn’t suffer from the poisonous snake that latched onto him and should have killed him. He just shook it off and went on warming his hands by the fire. He didn’t even take notice of it, and suffered no ill effects from it.
I know that Paul spent a lot of time praising God in prison, and getting delivered supernaturally, and converting prison guards, for crying out loud! He wasn’t talking about suffering like he was suffering in prison, or suffering from some personal attack from his enemies. The suffering he was speaking of was “the same conflict having, as ye saw in me, and now hear of in me,” and that conflict was found in verses 21-22.

Here’s chapter 1 and some of 2 in the Young’s literal translation. Do read for yourself, and then I’ll discuss further:

Philippians 1-2:8 (Young's Literal Translation)
Philippians 1
1Paul and Timotheus, servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, with overseers and ministrants;
2Grace to you, and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.
3I give thanks to my God upon all the remembrance of you,
4always, in every supplication of mine for you all, with joy making the supplication,
5for your contribution to the good news from the first day till now,
6having been confident of this very thing, that He who did begin in you a good work, will perform [it] till a day of Jesus Christ,
7according as it is righteous for me to think this in behalf of you all, because of my having you in the heart, both in my bonds, and [in] the defense and confirmation of the good news, all of you being fellow-partakers with me of grace.
8For God is my witness, how I long for you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ,
9and this I pray, that your love yet more and more may abound in full knowledge, and all judgment,
10for your proving the things that differ, that ye may be pure and offenceless -- to a day of Christ,
11being filled with the fruit of righteousness, that [is] through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
12And I wish you to know, brethren, that the things concerning me, rather to an advancement of the good news have come,
13so that my bonds have become manifest in Christ in the whole praetorium, and to the other places -- all,
14and the greater part of the brethren in the Lord, having confidence by my bonds, are more abundantly bold -- fearlessly to speak the word.
15Certain, indeed, even through envy and contention, and certain also through good-will, do preach the Christ;
16the one, indeed, of rivalry the Christ do proclaim, not purely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds,
17and the other out of love, having known that for defense of the good news I am set:
18what then? in every way, whether in pretence or in truth, Christ is proclaimed -- and in this I rejoice, yea, and shall rejoice.
19For I have known that this shall fall out to me for salvation, through your supplication, and the supply of the Spirit of Christ Jesus,
20according to my earnest expectation and hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, and in all freedom, as always, also now Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether through life or through death,
21for to me to live [is] Christ, and to die gain.
22And if to live in the flesh [is] to me a fruit of work, then what shall I choose? I know not;
23for I am pressed by the two, having the desire to depart, and to be with Christ, for it is far better,
24and to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account,
25and of this being persuaded, I have known that I shall remain and continue with you all, to your advancement and joy of the faith,
26that your boasting may abound in Christ Jesus in me through my presence again to you.
27Only worthily of the good news of the Christ conduct ye yourselves, that, whether having come and seen you, whether being absent I may hear of the things concerning you, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one soul, striving together for the faith of the good news,
28and not terrified in anything by those opposing, which to them indeed is a token of destruction, and to you of salvation, and that from God;
29because to you it was granted, on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in him, but also on behalf of him to suffer;
30the same conflict having, such as ye saw in me, and now hear of in me.
Philippians 2
1If, then, any exhortation [is] in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
2fulfil ye my joy, that ye may mind the same thing -- having the same love -- of one soul -- minding the one thing,
3nothing in rivalry or vain-glory, but in humility of mind one another counting more excellent than yourselves --
4each not to your own look ye, but each also to the things of others.
5For, let this mind be in you that [is] also in Christ Jesus,
6who, being in the form of God, thought [it] not robbery to be equal to God,
7but did empty himself, the form of a servant having taken, in the likeness of men having been made,
8and in fashion having been found as a man, he humbled himself, having become obedient unto death -- death even of a cross,

Does it sound different to you? Because to me, everything flows with clarity. Paul is talking about…..
LOVE! First Paul is just gushing on the Philippians and his connection with them, even in his imprisonment, in the sharing of faith and grace. He is confident that God will perform a good work in them till a day of Jesus Christ.
*side note: God will perform a good work until a day of Jesus Christ. From Him,
through Him, and to Him! He works all things together for our good.
He shares how his confinement is actually working out just fine, because it’s giving others the opportunity to share the GOOD NEWS. Even some with other motivations that weren’t so great were still sharing about Jesus, so Paul took no thought of himself and was still thankful that they were preaching. And of those who were encouraged by his boldness and inspired to emulate him, he says of them: “having known that for defense of the good news I am set.” That sounds to me like Paul was saying, “I’m fine here because I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, and I’m all set, man. All things work together for my good!”
“For I have known that this shall fall out to me for salvation,” verse 19. Dude! It’s all His goodness that works things out.

So, up to this point he has been expressing his desire for the gospel of Christ to be preached, and his love and even forgivingness for others connected to him. Then he begins to talk about this conflict within him. It is not the choice between cutting out to be with Jesus or sticking around to “save” people.
He says, “for to me to live is Christ, and to die gain.”
To him, to live is not to stay on this green and blue planet to do mighty works and miracles. Jesus is life. Life is Jesus. Jesus is all he wants, all he needs, all that will satisfy him, and his greatest dream and destiny. To die would be gain. To be with Jesus all the time, forever, would be a plus! It’s a redundant statement, not two opposing options. To live = Jesus. To die = gain.
Then he says, “and if to live in the flesh is to me a fruit of work, then what shall I choose? I know not.”
“What do I do now? I know Jesus is all I want. I know if I died I could be with him. To stay here and live on this earth is a fruit of WORK.” A fruit of work? I’m sorry, but that’s not a good thing at all. Who wants fruit of work? I think Paul felt like he knew exactly what he wanted, but he knew there was a reason he couldn’t have it.
“For I am pressed by the two, having the desire to depart, and to be with Christ, for it is far better, and to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account, and being persuaded, I have known that I shall remain and continue wit you all, to your advancement and joy of the faith,” vs. 23-25.
He is describing to the Philippians just how MUCH he loves them.
“Hey Philippians, you know how much I love you. I don’t get angry with you when you try to backbite me; I rejoice in your spiritual faith in the gospel of Christ, and I’ve chosen to esteem you higher than myself by staying on this planet instead of translating into heaven so that I can be a vessel for Christ to shine His light through to you.”
You know Paul had a revelation of Christ’s love. You can hear it in the first twenty verses of this book. You hear it again in the following recounting of Christ’s sacrifice. In the same way that Paul has limited himself to stay in the confines of his human body and not take a never-ending garden stroll with Jesus, he reminded the Philippians of how Jesus disrobed his omnipotent and omniscient and omnipresent garments to become a man—to make relationship available to humanity.
“If any comfort of love, if any fellowship of spirit, if any bowels and mercies, fulfill ye my joy that ye may mind the same thing—having the same love—of one soul—minding the one thing, nothing in rivalry or vain-glory, but in humility of mind one another counting more excellent than yourselves—each not to your own look ye, but each also to the things of others. For, let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal to God, but did empty himself, the form of a servant having taken, in the likeness of men having been made, and in fashion having been found as a man, he humbled himself, having become obedient unto death—death even of a cross…”
To me it seems like Paul was saying, I’m doing what Jesus did because I love you and find you more excellent than myself. To me, it was an expression of love, and a lesson in love, and an encouragement to love in a giving and unselfish manner—to have one mind, one thought, the one love.

Birdy dreams...

February 21, 2009
1st dream, I was with my parents, we were in a house, and we heard something up in the attic so we went up there. My parents were in the attic looking around and I saw that it was a little bird. And I said, “It’s a bird,” and they came out of the attic and started to walk down the stairs or something and the bird came right up to me and just walked right up to me and walked into my hand. It was a little baby platypus. [a platypus is not a bird]

[The Platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) is a semi-aquatic mammal endemic to eastern Australia, including Tasmania. Together with the four species of echidna, it is one of the five extant species of monotremes, the only mammals that lay eggs instead of giving birth to live young. It is the sole living representative of its family (Ornithorhynchidae) and genus (Ornithorhynchus), though a number of related species have been found in the fossil record.The bizarre appearance of this egg-laying, venomous, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal baffled European naturalists when they first encountered it, with some considering it an elaborate fraud. It is one of the few venomous mammals; the male Platypus has a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom capable of causing severe pain to humans.]

It crawled into my hand and I brought it downstairs and I was going to feed it and I was thinking, “what does this bird eat? It’s a water bird. I’m going to give it some fish. And it wasn’t afraid of me and it was going to eat.

2nd dream: There was this boy. I was the boy, I think. I was at some kind of small facility, the size of a ranch house or one of those portable buildings that you move. It had a ramp on it and I was walking out. There was a basketball court. Nothing professional. Trees all around, like a little park outside of this building. I went out to shoot hoops and I saw these birds, geese or something. A couple of them, and they were around the perimeter of the cement ground. They started to get closer and at first I was afraid that they were going to try to attack me, and I started to walk towards the building and they followed me. And then the next scene was me by the ramp and all these different birds—geese, ducks, swans, big birds, little birds, they were all around me. There were a couple of them nuzzling me and cuddling me and wrapping their necks around my arm. They were just drawn to me (or this person), and I was like—“I can’t believe this is happening.” [They were all birds that swam and went in water.]
Then it turned into a video that I was watching. I thought it was 60 minutes, because I left the computer and then I thought—“oh I want to show this to the kids at youth group so I went back to google for it, but it wasn’t 60 minutes. It was something affiliated with 60 minutes. Maybe it was a different country’s version of 60 minutes or something.

Graduation Dream (#2)

February 13, 2009
I was going to a graduation. It was at a church. It was Jesse Remington. There were a strangely large number of handicapped parking spaces so I had to park far away. Jo Cresswell was there and told me where to park because she had been here before. I parked, and took “the baby.” I think Lisa was there. I thought—people are going to think this is my baby.

We went into the foyer. The meeting had started. The teachers were waiting in the hallway—including Jeff Philbrick and Pastor David, because they were going enter in a procession. I recognized Pastor’s voice. He was opening the ceremony with what was supposed to be a prayer, but he wasn’t saying what he was supposed to. Jeff asked Pastor David if that would mess up what HE was going to share. They were waiting for Pastor to finish so that they could go in. We were waiting for them to go in so that we wouldn’t interrupt the service.

** Joanna means “God is gracious” and Cresswell means “water spring/stream”
** David means beloved.
Runion is derived from “champion.”
Bareford comes from “barley- ford.”
Barley is “is a tender grain and care must be taken in all stages of its growth and harvest.” Barley of the first crop was ready for the harvest by the time of the Passover, in the middle of April (Ruth 1:22; 2 Sam. 21:9). Mention is made of barley-meal (Num. 5:15). Our Lord fed five thousand with "five barley loaves and two small fishes" (John 6:9).
A ford is “a place where a river or other body of water is shallow enough to be crossed by wading.”
** Jeffrey Philbrick means “peace plank-bridge”
Interesting definition for handicap: something immaterial that interferes with or delays action or progress

Press in dream

(this sounds weird, but it's all symbolism.)

I was in a abnormally big bed. Lynn Hiles was laying next to me on my left, then Malcolm, then Pastor Steve. Lynn was preaching to people in the room. He wrapped his arms around me to illustrate “intimacy” and his hand was on my left breast. I was thinking, why is he doing this again? As if it had happened once before. I felt uncomfortable, but let him because I trusted him. Malcolm was on the other side of him, and Pastor Steve on the other side of him. They were being instructed to do what we were doing. They had to reposition themselves. It was a hard task to do, or a bother or something.

I went into another room. All the women were in the room. Sim was there, too, because she had come for the convention. Lynn had told us to get into small groups. I was with Shayna and someone else. Sim was with Kathy. I saw that Mrs. Page had a price tag hanging off her new jeans (dark wash, crisp). I wondered if I should tell her.

There was music playing. We felt “uncomfortable.” We were supposed to pray and then prophecy to each other. Lynn wasn’t going to do it for us, he told us to do it. I started to pray and felt like it was going to be easy. All I had to do was hear God. Then Shayna got up and walked out. So I thought, oh well. That’s too bad. I’ll just do it with this other person. But I think more people left and the meeting was just over by default. I went back into the other room. The men had also finished quickly and Lynn and his partner were just chatting. I was thinking of how they let it finish. “oh well.”

Interpretation: first part—
Lynn Hiles-- finished work, grace message
breast is what you feed children with, nourishment.
Bed—intimacy.
New jeans—new garments, and the price that was paid for it was still attached
We were supposed to press in and God would speak to us and through us, but the free spirit and expression and prophetic walked out (Shayna) and we let it, and then called it quits. The men weren’t pressing in either.
God never forces us to press in, but tells us we are able to and leaves it up to us whether or not we’re going to move (Lynn just chatting after)

If I could tell him just what I thought of him I would tell him this:

You. Do you know that I still remember when you loved Jesus? If I remember, imagine what He remembers. I only saw moments of your love for him, but he was watching you every day—and still is. Let me tell you that He is real. I know that you have forgotten the joy of your salvation, but He is still nearby, watching and waiting for you to look to Him again. He’s not angry with you, despite everything you have done or not done since you talked to Him last. He knew about all that stuff before you even knew He existed. He knew about all your failures, all your screw-ups, all your imperfections, mistakes, and choices before He called your name and gave you even the smallest desire for Him—and He still did it. He still wanted you, and He still wants you now, even if you ignore this and go on your way and forget all about Him for the rest of your life. Did you know that God is not mad at you? He judged you a long time ago—about two thousands years ago, He judged all your sins. And Jesus paid the price for all of them. Did you know that He sees you as His precious son?

Oh, and did you know about all the misconceptions the church has about Him? All those years we thought we could MAKE Him do things. Or even that we could change ourselves to be more “holy.” Did you know that God’s opinion of us isn’t determined by what we do and what we don’t do? He only looks at what we believe and what we don’t believe. Do we believe that Jesus is the way to the Father? Do we believe that Jesus is the savior of the world? Do we believe that He is God’s son? Do we believe that God is love? Do we believe that there is a Creator who made this place, and all the people in it? Do we believe that His wisdom is higher than ours?

Do you believe in hell? I don’t believe in a lake of fire where sinners go to burn for eternity. God doesn’t work like that. Hitler killed people, but their torment had an ending. To think that God could be more cruel than Hitler was, is silly, yet that’s what most Christians believe. But God has a bigger plan than letting more than half his people burn for eternity. And hell is now—not some pit of sulfur we experience after our bodies give out. You can make your hell now, and live in it, as I’m sure you probably know. You can also live in heaven, now, if you’re living with Him. God is more merciful and loving than the church gives Him credit for, and it’s sad, because of all the people we confuse. If the world knew how loving God really was, and how He’s actually not mad at people for what they do, and that He is ALWAYS longing for relationship, people wouldn’t have such a terrible conception of Him. He’s not some old man waiting to zap us when we mess up. Life doesn’t get old. And God is true life. God’s not old. And he’s not filled with wrath against people… his wrath against sin-- He poured that out on Jesus and spared us from it.

I had a dream about you in high school. I dreamt you had told us you were leaving for a long trip to see the world and experience it—to travel the globe and learn many things. And then I went into a little shop, and there was an old witch there playing some music, and you were dancing to it. And I thought, “wow. He didn’t go anywhere. He’s been right here all along.”

Don’t think that the world will give you what you want. You can search all the depths of human knowledge and soak in all its capacity, but it will never have what a connection with God can give you. It will never have the rich depth of the simplicity of God’s gift of grace. You can travel the globe, but you will never find home if you don’t find him.

And to think that I still think about you so much that I would write a letter like this. Do you know that I think of you so often. Think of who you are, and I feel love for you. I know we are as different as two human beings can be, but I still think of you and love you, and I can only guess that it is Jesus loving you in me. Because honestly, why should I still care so much? You are so far away, so different, and so against everything I base my life on, but the thought of you actually brings me happiness, because I just KNOW that He finds you particularly unique. He is especially fond of you.

The world is messed up. It’s crashing, in ricocheting ways. It’s like a never-ending crash, that you think would come to an end, but there is always a lower level it can fall to.

The church is divided and half-deceived. But, there will come a day when the church will actually know God. To believe that He not only loves but IS love, and that all of His motivation is love, and all of His actions express love—when she’ll know that anything that is not love is not God. And when the church realizes what that really means—actually has an understanding of complete love, the world will not be able to resist her, and not be able to resist the One who sent her.

I believe in a God who wants everyone to come to Him. Who has the means to cover the sins of the world. Who is more than enough for everyone. Whose plan is bigger than we yet know. Who introduces the answer to the dismal existence of life without Him. Who wants us to know what He’s thinking. Who lets us know what He’s thinking. Who demands one thing—belief, and who provides the means to hang onto that belief—relationship. I believe in a God who will keep stalking the world until the world accepts His arm and leans on Him, and lets Him take her home again.

77x7 flower buds in my hand

Today in church during worship, I was getting all these ideas of reconnecting with people I haven't seen in a long time-- things to do to open some communication again. During the service, Pastor Steve was talking about the importance of taking the truth that we have and applying it to our lives by actually ~gasp~ acting differently! To do something with what we learn means we actually learned it, not just listened to some "theory." One thing Pastor said was that God would say that His word and His answers to our needs are not THEORIES. They are truth, they are solid, and then are dependable. We are to actually APPLY the knowledge that we get. We are divinely influenced (grace) and empowered, and when we have a true knowledge of that grace (God's riches at Christ's expense), we change. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have an alter-call for our souls! When we have alter calls for accepting Jesus as God's son, and our savior, what then happens is our SPIRITS are saved-- that eternal part of us wakes up and we are reborn into the truth and actual LIFE. But our souls-- our thoughts, emotions, desires, will, are not saved. They still need daily saving, daily renewal. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go up for an alter call and have our souls saved? Yup! I'm going to say a prayer and BAM, all my thoughts, desires, emotions-- they're all just like Jesus' thoughts, desires, and emotions! Something like that wouldn't require much of a relationship, which is why I do believe God does it the way He does.

Anywho. After the meeting Kathy G. got up to share a vision she had. She saw a garden filled with fragrant and beautiful flowers in the backyard of a house. She said the garden is like the glory of God, the gifts we have, etc. A person could walk by the garden and find it beautiful and smell the fragrance, but if we actually PICK the flower and bring it to a person, then that person has the flower in their house-- to look at and smell and be constantly reminded with the actual presence of the flower there with them. In the same way, we can wait for people to pass us by and see God's glory in us, but it's a lot more effective to go to a person and touch their lives and give them something of ourselves. And when we prune the garden, it only produces more flowers, so it's a win-win. This I found very interesting since when she was talking I remembered that a few years ago, maybe four-ish, someone had given me a word about bringing flowers to people, and that God was going to replenish the garden, but that I would just bring flowers to all sorts of people and give them as gifts. This I remembered after having first been contemplating ways to get in touch with people I haven't spent much time with lately.

So, that's my testimony for the day. Just a little bit of direction is enough for me. If I have one instruction, no matter how small it is, and I follow it, at least I'm doing something and not sitting on my behind letting people pass me by.

Now is the time to act! We can't sit on our treasures forever. Even if that treasure is simply time spent caring about someone!

Isaiah 40

9-11 Climb a high mountain, Zion.
You're the preacher of good news.
Raise your voice. Make it good and loud, Jerusalem.
You're the preacher of good news.
Speak loud and clear. Don't be timid!
Tell the cities of Judah,
"Look! Your God!"
Look at him! God, the Master, comes in power,
ready to go into action.
He is going to pay back his enemies
and reward those who have loved him.
Like a shepherd, he will care for his flock,
gathering the lambs in his arms,
Hugging them as he carries them,
leading the nursing ewes to good pasture.

Pools Dream

Last night I had a dream that I was in a beautiful place with some people. There was a fountain there. It was huge. It was almost like different pools, with spouts of water coming up in them. You could swim in them, they were so big. And that’s what they were meant for. And in the dream I knew that God had made the fountain for us. I also knew it was a dream. I was telling the people that He had made it, and that anything you wished for, it did—if you wanted the water to be warm, it would be warm. Cool? It would be cool. It was made for us and he made it for us to make us feel good. I knew it was a dream, however, and wondered if I would be able to feel the water. I didn’t think I would feel anything, but I put my hand in a shallow basin and I FELT the water running over my hand. It felt SO GOOD. It was cool and refreshing. I was in the fountain, with the other people, and we were in bliss. I knew that God had made it for us so that we could feel good.

Graduation Dream (#1)

I was driving through Manchester on a bike, somewhere around bridge street, but I was going on streets I didn’t know, working my way towards the Elm Street area. For a while I was driving “behind” someone, whow as a pedestrian who was walking. He had a red shirt on, and was just taking his precious time. When I came to a place I could get around him, I drove around him.

As I was driving, I was getting closer to Elm Street, and I was re-learning how to ride a bicycle. The gears weren’t set right, because it was set to really easy, so I was peddling and peddling and not going anywhere, so I switched the gears to being harder, so that peddling was harder but it required less “peddles” of me.

I was near the Elm Street area now, and I was trying to find Howard street. I guess I had the directions to get to a certain place, but I didn’t have a map. I didn’t know the name of all the side streets, but I figured I would just go down a main street and eventually it would be intersecting the street I was on.

I didn’t want to slow down, because it was downtown, and I knew it could be dangerous. I got to an area where there was some open space, with grass, benches, and lots of people. I had taken a left from the main street which was parallel to Elm, into this area and was working my way to Elm street. I started to bike through the area, and I knew that the animals would attack me if I slowed down or if I had been on foot, and they would attack me because I was on a bike, too, but that I could just go fast through and they wouldn’t overtake me. There were, like, cougars or something. Not lions, maybe leapords, and they attacked. I took a worn bike path and one animal started running towards me, so I just set my direction and pedaled as fast as I could and the animal ran up to me and actually ran right into me, and then was “pushed” off because I didn’t stop. Like it bounced right off of me.

Also, to note: throughout this time, I was using my breaks here and there. They worked well, and gave me the ability to go really fast, but still be able to stop, and I thought of this, how I could just “go fast and then use my breaks” to stop. It was also weird (to me now) that there were people all around, and these animals were just attacking people who were trying to get THROUGH to the other side, not the people that were just sitting around.

So I got down to Elm street and was still looking for the street I had to be on, because it was my GRADUATION, and I was trying to get to it. I was pedaling down towards where the BoA would be, and I saw Cindy Page talking with someone, loudly, outside of a building. They were debating or arguing about something, not angrily, but loudly. I rode right up to them and came to a screeching halt. I asked them where the street was, and they said, “don’t keep going in this direction, hon. It’s a bad part of town and dangerous. >>> street is right over here, where the graduation is happening.”

I also was thinking about my graduation gown, and how I would have to rent one, but that there would be a place nearby where I could get one, because the graduations were ALWAYS here, so there was probably a place that rented them nearby.

Also to note that it was NICE to be riding on a bike. It was a nice day, and fresh air, and sure it was slower, but I was “experiencing” my journey. You know, all the normal feelings you have when you ride a bike. Exercise, refreshment, “you’re in control” feeling, freedom.

Also, when I was riding towards Elm street, I was watching the signs go by one by one. Watching the signs seemed like an emphasis. Also, the place I was going was the very center of the city—it was the heart of the city.

I was painting on the walls of my heart, with brighter colors
because you were painting with me, with your brush dipped in pink
pink like innocence, and pink like girliness, and pink like friendship
all bright colors, I'll choose to believe, were our pallet of clean
you clean me up, like a whitewash-- cover me with new
but with clean canvas we mix and match and blend and accent
vibrant and evoking and inspiring and pretty things,
you paint with me, and our brushes match, which i like,
because I want to be just like you.

and i see your eyes touch mine from the outside
through the window as You speak with You and You
a window to a new day, that's where your gaze
graced my face and phased me into a new place
i turn away startled at my quick flutter response
but can't contain and look again
and a smile peeks your cheeks and gives me
quite the happy greeting.

and now your pounding with your fists
against a wooden bench to match the tempo
of a passion song, with your worship lingo
dancing from pronouncing mouth--
You are so beautiful, You are so lovely
and Your heart is filled with a noble theme
and moves me
oh ecstasy
to see
the passion you beat
to the King

and then I'm walking to the deep dark forest
for a place to breath and stretch and escape
a place i can't embrace
and i see the stone that will trip me
and as if a script i stick
my toe in its grip
and i let myself fall
but you've been trailing me
and you run to me
and you lift me
and i wonder
looking into the boyish face of this familiar man
why you look so familiar
and why You had a right to me all along,

and when I wake up, I realize who You are.

when in doubt, pray for wisdom
when in fear, pray for peace
when in failing, pray for open
heart to feel God's joy
and be strengthened again.

when in lack, realize provision
when in worry, give some thanks.
when your heart is feeling broken
that's the time to open
your mouth to say:

Lord I need you to breath in me
Lord I need your measure of faith
Lord I'm nothing but that's a good thing
because now again I see you're All.

And maybe the walls were there so I could bump into them and realize that I still need you.

Witnessing dream

Last night I witnessed to a man that was going to try to rob my car. I was unloading it and I think there were groceries or something in the trunk and he was going to take them, but I stopped him and started to rebuke him. Then I witnessed to him for a long time and he finally admitted he needed help. He was also trying to come on to me, and I was fighting feelings of desire for him, but I pushed them aside and continued talking about Christ. At one point in the dream, a friend of mine came in and tried to help. She had a box of things she thought I needed to witness to him and convert him. It was filled with religious paraphernalia. She was catholic. I told her she needed to leave. I told the man that was a lie that he needed that, and that some people didn’t understand that it was all dependent on Christ. It was after she left that I began praying for him—and I continued praying for him. I even woke up, like twice, while praying for him out loud in real life, but thankfully I fell back into the dream when I fell back asleep. At the end, he was saved, and I was looking in a mirror and I threw my arms up in a victory gesture. It was the first person I had ever witnessed to that had been saved. I knew it would come easier to do that now. But, I also knew this was just a dream, so that my first time was in a dream and not real life.

a few tips i need to remember... so i blog.

to sweep dust, use dust mop with furniture polish sprayed on it.

to remove pet hair on upholstery- wet rubber gloves and wipe.

dust trinkets with a pair of soft cotton gloves.

put your sheets in pillow cases to keep sets together.

to de-knot chains, use a straight pin.

recycle your eyeglasses at www.lionsclub.org.

recycle your magazines by donating them to womens' shelters, hospitals, or nursing homes.

recycle your tennis shoes at nikereuseashoe.com.

recylce your computers at christina.org.

O BA MA & ME

Man! I recently posted a link to Obama's book with a suggestion to read it and BAM, big discussion. Which I very much like! In the past, I have posted things that were openly controversial, but this time I was just posting something small, which I didn't think would lead to much, but it did. I kind of like that.

But I just wanted to write a little bit about why I have the thoughts that I have about Obama, and it's probably a little too long and a little too much of a tangent for me to post as a response on that discussion thread.

Last year, during the primaries, I became interested in politics for the first time. My husband's friend introduced us to Saint Ron Paul (Patron Saint of the U.S. Constitution) (as we like to call him). For the first time I started to understand more facets of law and the government and politics and the constitution. To me, Ron Paul's "message of liberty" was right on, and I could not comprehend why all republicans didn't recognize his genius, and how right on he was. I was completely disillusioned by all the republicans I knew who wouldn't vote for him based on his "drinkability." (thanks, Bud.) And again by republicans who were blatantly liberal in their proposed policies.

Not only that, but I visited Ron Paul at different functions and decided I would like him to be my honorary uncle. ;-)

I think the thing that hit me the most was the blind allegiance to the party, on the part of the people around me, and the insane sideswiping from the media. I watched in repulsion as Saint Paul was disregarded during the debates, and outright laughed at by the other candidates. When he was really the conservative!! What?!

So this made me very cynical. Watching Ron Paul go down while fellow supporters were all like-- what the bleep?!

It made me look at the media differently. It made me pause before agreeing with the people I would normally just listen to without question. People around me, people in the grand old party. I was glad I was registered as an Independent for the simple fact that I was not pledging allegiance to that party.

One day I was having lunch with my sisters and we were talking politics, and one sister mentioned some recent scandalous account of Obama Hussein and his liberal ways and questionable theology. I was suddenly disgusted by the conversation. Why should I believe this stuff when so recently dear Saint Paul was abused by those same disdaining media-influenced rumors? I told them then that I had decided I would read Obama's book for myself. The specific topic we had been talking about was rumors that Obama was racist and had made racist comments in his book. So I said I'd read it and get back to them. They both said they'd like to hear what I had to say.

So I got the audio book and listened to it while I was working. He read it himself, which was nice. I always like it when authors read their own books for the audio recordings.

And I was impressed. I was impressed by his intellect and by his compassion for people and especially for the theme in the book, which was that he wanted to treat others as he'd like to be treated. That good 'ole golden rule. Plus, he had a serious emphasis on the need for unity in government and the limits of our current bi-partisan system-- how difficult it is to make any progress with laws and government because of the system.

I thought-- he's a good man. Though his ideas for attaining these goals are different than mine, and he's trying to solve lots of problems through the government that should be handled by the body of Christ, he, as a person, is decent. He professes to be a Christian. He is NOT racist. And, he is not the anti-Christ!! (Which was the general perception by my previous self who was blindly tied to republicanism!)

More thoughts HERE:
http://missythoughtdribbles.blogspot.com/2008/08/dribble-puddles-part-1.html
and HERE:
http://missythoughtdribbles.blogspot.com/2008/08/puddles-part-2.html
with creative comment HERE:
http://missythoughtdribbles.blogspot.com/2008/01/politics-jumbles.html

So anyways. Make a long story short, I had peace about Obama. I wasn't so quick to judge. I didn't vote for him because of his ideas for the means to attain some good goals (big government). I also didn't vote for McCain because throughout the entire election, he seemed like he was playing the political game, changing his mind about things, and yes, agreeing too much with Bush. He wasn't conservative, anyway! Just a liberal republican. To me, they were both liberal, just pushing different agendas. So I voted 3rd party. But am I upset about the results of the election? No. As I said in a recent blog post (http://missythoughtdribbles.blogspot.com/2008/11/prophecy-obama.html), God is already working through this by touching and healing a great injustice in history (against African Americans). Obama is a man who seems teachable to me, open to discussion from his opponents, and a deep sense of duty to help mankind.

America will change when Americans change, not when a law is created to make them change. That's what I believe. So the salvation of this country does not depend on a president or a party having the majority. You cannot create a law that will change a heart. You can only remove the need for a law by first changing hearts. Jesus is the only answer to this country's issues. And one man named President will not cause the downfall of a nation if that nation is filled with true believers. We have more power than the government. We have the creator of everything, and a system of this world can not usurp that.

prophecy & Obama

For those of you who believe God works in prophecy...

I received an email and sent a response...

Hello, If you go to www.kimclement.com and check out America watch live you will be so encouraged. Kim is a national prophet who is very accurate. He has his prophetic words on his web site, on Monday night he showed this program and shared the prophetic words that the Lord spoke through him, it is amazing how great our God is. It is for an hour and a half but I assure you it is so worth it. Be blessed!!

S.B.

Hey everybody.

I just listened to the video that Mrs. B sent us, and it was really good. I also looked around in "the Vault" of Kim's prophecies and read them. I'm attaching one in which he talked about Obama.

I know that a lot of you are disappointed and very discouraged about the election. In part of the prophecy video, Kim talked about there being a time of GREAT thanksgiving. And the response from people would be, "what is there to be thankful of?" At the time he said it, I'm sure people were thinking that because of the economic "crisis," but I think now in retrospect, it could even more be implied that Christians feel cheated, and now that a democrat has been elected, what is there to be thankful for?

I would encourage you to praise God in this time especially. I know that most of the people I've talked to didn't watch the speeches by McCain and Obama the night of the election. That's really too bad, because I've got to tell you, they were SO encouraging and moving. The camradery of the people in the audiences, the pledges of allegiance and a desire to help Obama from the republicans, they were so touching. And to see elderly black people weeping as they watched the first African American being elected was moving. We forget some of the sins of the past. In our modern culture, it is hard for us to comprehend the suffering that took place in the past. Our modern world paints a much different picture. But to think of all of the believers that have passed without seeing the complete fruition of the declaration that all men are created equal! To see that actually enacted, is going to be a testimony on a global scale that America is really the land of the free. Think of all of the other tribes on the earth that know that America truly is a place where all people have the opportunity for success.

This is a time of great thanksgiving. One victorious statement has already been made with this election. And as far as the political agendas of the far left liberals-- Obama is a man that God can use despite the agendas of political parties. Let's keep that in mind. He is just a man, but God has a plan for this country, and it can totally usurp the systems of this world's government. God can change a heart. God can change the path of men. God's glory is brightest in darkness. So if you feel like things are dark, remember that light casts out darkness.

Please read the following prophecies from Kim Clement. They are so encouraging to me. And remember all that we can be thankful for. Our country is coming together as a people like it never has before. Let us not be so distracted by our own desires (as Kim talks about), that we totally miss that. Let us be the light that shines in the darkness. With our prayers and our goodwill toward all men (even politicians.. even democrats), and with our compassionate love through Jesus, anything can happen!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2/2/2008

From Whittier, CA

February 02, 2008- Whittier, CA Ask me something says the Lord of Hosts that no one can possibly do and watch me do it. Push me, get me to the place like Jacob did, throw me to the ground, wrestle me. Tell me you'll not leave me alone until you have the blessing. I want that, says the Lord. Wrestle me. I'll still win but you'll have your blessing. Ask me something that's impossible, ask me something that's ridiculous and you think will never happen for the power of prognosis can only last so long. Get your boldness and run to me! My friends, there is no such thing as the pathetic evangelism that we've endeavored to do, begging people to come. They will shout out when they see the boldness that comes from the Spirit of God, "what shall we do to be saved?" And God said, they shall come by the thousands, the tens of thousands, the hundreds of thousands. This is a time of refreshing says the Lord! There is a spirit of boldness that is coming. I speak by the Spirit now, a boldness that is coming. I has been sporadic, it has been occasional. Occasional events must now change to daily events. The spirit of boldness that is coming will make you take steps you've never taken before. Though you face danger with your boldness, under the direction of the Spirit of Grace, you shall see your future in a glimpse. For the spirit has been willing but the flesh has been weak therefore the disillusionment, disenchantment not to speak. God said you are to open you mouth. This is the time and the season. For I speak to you in direct terms for I trust you. The celebration of your people that you give me and the boldness to do what we do which we would not do in a lot of places allows God to say things that are mysterious to some and will always remain in a parable . But no, not to some I will speak boldly. Moses knew the ways of God. Israel knew the works of God. Some people only recognize God when he works. Others know his ways; I know the way he works and this does look just like him. Those that are controlled by works say he's never done that before. Why would he bring water from a rock, why would he provide our tax money through a fish mouth? But that's the way he is because I know his ways. God said I'm looking for people that know my ways, not my works, that recognize me when there are no works. This is what He said. Do not be disheartened at the elections, for you shall be, many of you. It's a man - no it's not a man, it's not a woman - God said in the term starting - God spoke about death - now I have to be careful how I word this: this is a spiritual matter. But there shall be a swift change in the next four years even though elections took place, people were voted in. God said, do not be disheartened. For when this takes place people will begin to shake and they will get fearful and then my people shall be needed and the voice of the prophets will invade every department, every department of government. How is this? "We want a Christian as a President." God said, foohey. What you want is righteousness within the system and I am sending apostles and prophets into the system, says the Lord. Therefore do not fear when death strikes, for resurrection comes straight after that says the Lord of hosts!

3/29/2008

From Harrisburg, PA

March 29, 2008 - Harrisburg, PA God says, there is a sway in the political arena, a change in your political world. Enough of this discussion about Jeremiah Wright. God said, this makes no difference. It is a spirit that has endeavored to rock and sway the people and to divide them. God said, I will sway it next week. Yes, I will, and because of Pennsylvania I will raise up the man I want, says the Lord, to rule and to reign and to declare victory in the Middle East. We declare victory in the Middle East tonight. We declare victory in America tonight. For the Spirit of God says hear oh people of Zion. Those who have been afraid in Zion, those who have been afraid in this nation, Fear not! For your news media has intimidated you and therefore it is My turn. Next week I will arise. I will change everything. For they have unfairly spoken against an African man and I'm not talking about Jeremiah Wright. I'm talking about Obama. For God said even though you may think this or that there is an element of righteousness inside of him to reach out for Jesus. Therefore I will sway it next week says the Spirit of God and I will cause My man, My power to exalt in the White House what is necessary to declare victory. For this time I shall rise up and I shall make known who I am in a way that I have never done it in this nation, says the Lord. For the Spirit of God says, do not say is it this one or is it that one. Hear me out. I am raising up My mantle, My voice. This nation shall be awakened to a spiritual activity that has been dead for 42 years. Listen to me says the Lord. I will take over in a way and in a fashion that will bring a force of spiritual unity in this nation for the first time. You can believe it or not. I will take white and I will take African, and I will bring a unity in the church between the two of them, says the Spirit of God. This night in America and this next week, God has informed us to watch as he unfolds and reveals things so that you will know that your nation has not been set aside for division and discord but a time in the church where African American, where white or Caucasian, where Hispanic and every race in this nation under the spiritual guidance of the Spirit within a midst of war and division will bring them to a place of unity. And God said where one race stood on the steps and covered the fields with million men marches and Jesus proclamations, there shall be one of the greatest gatherings at the Capitol that you have ever seen, says the Spirit of God. This time it shall not be black, it shall not be white, it shall not be Hispanic it shall not be from this or that belief but there shall be a unified sound. Two years from now where they will hear the sounds of faith and unity and within this next reign, there will be laws that will be changed in favor of the most High God. Not because of Democrat, not because of Republican, but because of spiritual unity and intervention. I will bring you out of what they call a recession into your highest economy that you've ever had in your next four years, says the Spirit of God. Do not think it impossible, for it shall be so. For the gatekeepers of this nation are not the Mayors nor the Senators. The gatekeepers of this nation are not the Congressmen or the Congresswomen. Yes, they are gatekeepers but the gatekeepers (I am speaking of) of this nation are the spiritual leaders the Apostles and the Prophets the Teachers, the Evangelists the Pastors that I've raised up. And there shall be a sound of unity that will call from heaven the manifestation of God as it has never been in this nation. Get ready for your sons and yours daughters will prophesy just like Joel said in the last days. In the last days your sons and your daughters, they shall be prophets and prophetesses and your old men shall dream dreams. Your young men shall have visions. This is that time, says the Lord of hosts. Let not your opinion cloud your spiritual mind. You say, what are you saying? The Spirit of God says, call them not denominations rather abominations, for I am not speaking of these that have built walls. I'm speaking of the true warriors that shall sway the political field, that will sway the justice. It shall be more than a million gathered, more than a million gathered! And God said they shall say Washington; what is this? This is a sound that we have never heard before. And God said I will take the entire Northeast and I will shake it and the double portion that I promised upon the Elisha generation shall be released. Do not say we are in recession, for I will take the oil crisis and bring it to an end and the rapidity of it shall take place because of the unity of the saints and the unity of the of the gatekeepers. Get ready for what you have seen on the television regarding Jeremiah Wright and everybody else is not for evil but for good. I will turn it around and bring unity in My house says the Lord of Hosts. Your present President will not leave his office or his term in shame. There will be a very precise vindication of numerous things that were scorned, that were mocked by men that thought they knew but understood nothing. And when the baton is handed over, God said there shall be no fear in the nation. Now take that and be secure. I speak not as a politician tonight. I speak to you as a prophetic voice. Not tolerated but celebrated by the people. Stand firm, you and your house will serve the Lord. And as the prophet Joel said in the last days, your sons and your daughters... Sons and daughters are being raised up to prophesy and to have visions. Old men to dream the dreams. That mantle has been cast upon the Church. Therefore I would say Your time of acceleration has reached its peak. You're taking off!

11/2/2008

From Whittier, CA

November 2, 2008 - Whittier, CA David said these words. I built you a mountain so you be at one with me and every single day we could stand together, I want you to live with me. And I built you a mountain, I built you a house so every single day you would stand with me and we would say, You're the only one that I would ever stand with and I know that you're the one that comes to me every time I go down on my knees. So I built you a mountain so that you would stay with me. So I built you house that I pray every single day that you would stand with me. There's a mountain that you're building in this nation. There's a mountain that you're building in this nation, says the Lord. There's a mountain of faith that's building in this place and the nation will hear triumph for it is near, and the nation will hear the sound of triumph, oh it's so near. And the nation will hear, they will hear the sound of triumph, because as you lift your voice and call me I come to you America. Lift your voice and call me, I come to you, America. Just call me. And if you lift your voice and shout my name I'll come to you America, if you lift your voice and say my name I'll come to you, America. Just lift your voice and say my name. If you lift your voice and call my name I'll come to you, America. If you lift your voice and shout my praise I'll come to you America. Shout my name! Shout my name! Shout his name! Shout his name! If you open up your heart and call my holy name, I'll come to you, America. If you open up your hands and open up your hearts, I'll come to you America with open hands. And if you open up your hands and call my name, I'll come to you, America. Because together we will stand in one accord just like we stood a hundred years ago. Because I'm taking you to the place that you came from, taking you back to your original form. God says I'm not going to see you stand behind any other nation, all I want to hear is every one of you lift your voice and shout My name! We shout your name, Yeshua! We shout your name, Yeshua! We shout your name, Yeshua! Yeshua, Jehovah, Jehovah, Yeshua, Messiah, Messiah! I'm coming here tonight, I'm coming to you tonight that your highways and your byways will be turned upside down but don't worry, says the Lord, I'm standing here and I'm watching, and I'm standing here and I'm watching as the nation stands tonight. Some of them are ready to go and put it all to flight. I am still holy, I am Lord and I change not. I am holy, I am holy, and I change not. There is a key, there is a key that I'm giving to you to unlock the mysteries of Christ. There's a key, there's a key that I'm giving to you to unlock the secrets of the Scriptures. The Key of David shall come forth again, and I'm opening a door that no one can shut! I'm opening a door that no one can shut, won't you come in with me. I'm opening a door that no one can shut, won't you come with me. Every man of God, business man, every father, every mother that's in this building, God tells me to tell you, and everyone that's watching us at this very moment: He's given us a key, He's opening a door that no man can shut! Are you ready to go in? America, I've opened a door that no one can shut, I've given a key for you to come in. God says this to America: I've opened a door that no one can shut, no one! It's in the Spirit. I've opened a door that no one can shut, no one can touch it! Tomorrow about this time I've opened a door in America! The Spirit of the Lord says are you hearing the prophet tonight? You say "it's all over." But the Spirit of the Lord says it is not the political powers that will speak on Tuesday. It is I, the Lord, for something far greater is taking place than human beings that will take authority. God says I have given back to America the key to open the doors of the storehouses that have been shut. I am giving you the key to open the door to the storehouses that have been shut by those that have said "there is no need for this anymore." God said I will bless you, I will prosper you, and I will take every part of America and give you my very best because I've opened the door. The Spirit of God said do not say "this only speaking to the nation" I'm speaking to every of you tonight. And I'm saying to you the doors have been shut, the enemy has stolen and stolen and raped you and I will not allow you to be raped again, says the Spirit of the Living God. Hear me tonight. If you will only sing with the prophet I will take the visible and the invisible and I will marry them tonight, says the Spirit of the Lord. I will take the visible, I will take the invisible and I will marry them tonight so that you can become a persuasion in this nation. I'm going to open the door to your families, open the door to your children, open the door to your business, open the door for your industry, open the door for your ministry. God says tonight I want you to command, I want you to command. When Elisha was surrounded by an army, he didn't beg God, he didn't repent, he didn't squeal, he commanded. He said Lord, open the eyes of the citizens and the servants and blind the eyes of the enemy. Tonight we command light to come to the eyes of the people. We command blindness to come to the adversaries of this nation. The adversaries in this nation are spiritual wickedness in high place trying to delete the future by removing the children, raping them, aborting them. God said enough! What more do you have left after you have taken a child and to take each other. Do not be consumed with this madness, civil disruption. God said this spirit must be blinded tonight! My blood prevails in the churches of this nation, yet preachers have become political thinkers, preachers have become voices for one side and not the other. God said enough! I am the one who decides the spiritual temperature of this nation. Now blind the eyes of the adversaries of America, says the Lord! Samuel told the people to gather around, come near to me, Samuel my old prophet stood there and said to the people of Israel "come near to me and listen to the words of the Lord." You have asked for a king but I must tell you this is not the command of God, for the Lord wishes to reign over His people Himself. And they replied to Samuel and said no, but we want a king like the other nations. The Spirit of the Lord said I did not anoint Saul, I appointed him. Samuel took a flask of oil and anointed Saul and said, here is your king, to the people. The flask that he had was not commonly used by the prophets, the appointment was not the anointing. For the desire of the people was given to them but he warned them this one will destroy you. And so it was that a man, Saul, head and shoulders above everyone, proud of his strength, proud of his height, disobeyed the commands of the Lord and brought terror upon the people. Then began to execute the priests of God, he executed the priests one by one because they had covered for the anointed, David, God's chosen. For the Spirit of the Lord says this is important for you to understand: there is the desire of a people and the desire of God. The desire of a people had brought them to a place of blindness and retribution is within their reach. But God said listen, my plans for this nation are for one of the greatest resurrections to bring back not only that which has not been completed by the church, but also to bring this nation to a place where it will once again pioneer the next great phase and the next great move of the Spirit of God upon the earth. And it shall come that it shall rush from hear to Australia and Australia shall become a great friend to the church. For God said there is a desire upon the people to make history, but God said do not make history before its time. Do not endeavor to do something that is inevitable because there is a time for everything. There is a time, says the Lord, for everything. Do not rush but stand firm and believe that there will be the abolishment of certain iniquities that have been legislated and brought into this nation. And God said, until three of them have been abolished, you are not in that place, in fact will flee like a fire and cause great destruction. Therefore tonight, listen to the word of the Lord, there is an anointing that is to come upon the earth but I have set aside this nation to be the one that will propagate it and to launch it. You need the liberty of prayer warriors not only in your churches, but you need prayer warriors in your White House, you need prayer warriors that will pray at the capitol. Is this possible? Absolutely it is, stand firm and say righteousness shall prevail and God said, I will honor you and bring about a massive ruling of righteousness in these next few years that America will say "the church has entered into a new zone, it has come into a new illumination, it has come into a new prosperity." For this nation will not prosper until my church prospers. And my church is about to prosper as it has never done before, says the Lord of Hosts! The month of November there will one vindication after the other, one unfolding and revealing of truth. And God said, I will bring you to the Thanksgiving of a lifetime. And I have told you this before and it has happened. "How can we be thankful when there is nothing to be thankful for?" God said, indeed within a day I can make you thankful. Therefore, if you would look ahead and see what I have told you, believe, stand firm and stand your ground as great warriors and citizens of Heaven. The angel that has watched over America since its beginning is also present to watch over this nation tonight, tomorrow night, Tuesday and it will go on to Wednesday and Thursday. For God said, listen, the same angel that stood watch the great soldiers and the great generals and the presidents of yesterday when this nation began, that same angel is present to steer you in the direction that you need to go. Believe it or not, that angel has been over America and watched for the Lord God. And so it is here again. I've created this nation to stand before me as the salt of the earth. I've created this nation to stand before me as the light of the world.

Does your husband complain about shopping with you?

Just tell him to take a load off!

("You always make such a spectacle of yourself!"
.... many many folks were entertained by my hubby's antics.)

tour of apartment

our new apartment in Carmel...

outside our window through the trees is a secret no one knows but me

interum

The Spacific in Carmel pics

The Spacific Ocean

Why ARE we in Carmel?

tour #1

Here's a tour of where we stayed last week, for our first week in California. The Hilton Garden Inn was in Monterey, CA.

this person wrote what i thought

I didn't vote for Obama, but this is why I almost DID.

Monday Morning

I like Monterey. And Carmel. There aren't many places away from home that cause me to think, "I could live here." What I like about it is that it's bustling, but not intimidating. If I go to a place like New York City, I find it exhilarating, but there's always a slight tinge of uncomfortable fear. It is probably because I have never lived in a big city. But here, there is a nice combination of people and nature that makes you a bit more relaxed. It's bustling, but it's also refreshing. I wonder what I would think of the place in the hottest months of summer. It's crisp here, now. I wish I had brought more long-sleeved shirts, as well as boots, leather shoes, more socks, perhaps an actual jacket? Yesterday walking on the Wharf I found it amusing that there were people in sleeveless tops, and other people in parkas. I guess it depends on what you're used to! I am used to being cold, so why should that change JUST because I'm in California?? To my credit, it IS only 46 here right now.

We ate at the Paris Bakery Cafe this morning. I am done with melted cheese. I got a croissant with spinach and cheese this morning, and it definitely ruined cheese in my eyes, for a while. For lunch I'm going to have a banana, an apple, and a fruit cup! (And maybe that prize cheese croissant I purchased. I count myself a cheese danish connoisseur.)

Well, that's all for my morning update. The plan for the day is to get going on some projects, use the gym facilities, read, and maybe take a walk.

Dinnertime

Tonight we went to "Crown & Anchor Pub." Pretty yummy! Malc got meatloaf and I got corn beef and cabbage (both with sides of mashed potatoes and the most delectable gravy I've ever had!), but not after fulfilling my obligation of eating calamari (to my father who made me swear I'd eat it).

Now my obligation is fulfilled and I no longer am bound by the appetizer. EVERY time I get an appetizer I regret it, because I'm full for my meal. After one voluntary appetizer of some nachos and spinach and artichoke dip (last night), and my obligatory calamari tonight, I am free! Free to eat dinner and possibly half a dessert after! Free to feel satisfied by the prime choice alone! Free to not want a preamble to the main show! Okay. This may be a little much, but my tummy is angry with me for that calamari, and I am trying to reassure it that I won't do that again ANY time soon.

In reflection of this long day of dining, I must say the most pleasurable item of it all was the iced coffee from The Plume's Coffee House. It was very unique. And tasty. A+

They do this all the time in the little square, with the music playing and the smell of various foods. People offer samples of clam chowder and other goodies. You could probably get full just accepting all the samplers!

I love these things!!! This was in the Monterey Maritime and Historic Museum.

We were watching him on an upper deck and then walked down to a lower one, and he came right over to us and gave us our own show. I think it's because Malcolm was the only person on the dock wearing red. That's my theory. Um... are sea lions colorblind?

I see pretty colors that nobody else sees...

Locals...

Check out the locals!

I wanted to check them out, but this machine ate my quarter. :-(

Meet me in Monterey...

After enjoying a delectable lunch at Plume's coffee house (yummy sandwiches, iced coffee, and Italian soda!), we mozied around town. I found a music store where I got some new guitar strings, Malc checked out lefty bass guitars, and we spotted a theater showing old scary movies for cheapo. Do I want to watch "The Shining" on the big screen for $4?? Not likely...

I found this sign amusing: Apparently, both females and males are welcome on the Wharf:

First impressions

I am in California! My darling husband had to come out here for work, and I accompanied him. We are on day 2 1/2 of our visit, and we spent the afternoon exploring the historic Fisherman's Wharf in Monterey. These first pictures, however, are from yesterday, when I got my first day-time impressions of the area.

These plants were so foreign to a New England girl! Funky!
Being newly interested in plant life, I found them attention-worthy.

These photos are somewhat Missy-enhanced. Artistic expression is FUN!
(but it was pretty before tampering, promise.)

Politics

Jumbles. All contribute to jumbles. Opposition clutching itself from both sides.
Pulling and forcing closing down
Right is two ways and possibly neither
As the government shoulders its way through the crowds
And pushes the people down.
A murky flag wraps us tight with no leg room
No arm room
No eye room
To see another administration
Of mercy and unabashed unrelenting always-forgiving love
Which could wipe it all out
Wipe it all away
But we wrangle in word play
And we mock the ones we see through a glass of misunderstanding
To admit a failing?
To admit a limit?
I am the champion of this world! We proclaim
And then lay our heads on pillows
And pray we’re right, to avoid impending
shame, blame, worse global games
tomorrow.

dreams

The night before last night I dreamed I was pregnant, when Celeste was still pregnant. This, added to the fact that I had the same dream last year, Celeste had the same dream, Courtney had a dream I was pregnant twice, recently, and Malcolm's old Marco-type female character called him to tell him she dreamed we were having a baby boy named Justin, has got me to thinking. I feel like I'm getting a little bit old. Who wants to be the mother who is so old she can't relate to her kids? I envy women who had their children in their early twenties. There's a closeness in age that creates a fun relationship between them and, at least, their firstborn.

My hope is that by the time I have children, I will be younger than I am now. I will master my body by stuffing it with vegetables and whipping it into shape with elliptical machines and kicking air with Billy Blanks. I will be so inevitably beautiful and trim, because of this victory in my body, that it won't matter what number I have tacked on my life odometer, because my heart will overcome my identity, and it will define my age as agelessly young, yet wise.

I have been having repetitive dreams. Not to the T, but repetitive meanings. Different stories that correspond remarkably. As in, in dream A, a swearing preacher is teaching bad theology to hungry listeners, and in dream B, a swearing teacher is teaching bad math to young pupils. They're a little too similar to ignore. Like the first dream I described. Two different people, marrying while being married..

As in, one night I dreamed the right lens of my glasses shattered because the frames were screwed in too tightly, and the next I dream the right lens has fallen out of my glasses altogether. In the first dream, I was in Italy. I replaced my glasses with sunglasses, which had mismatched lenses, however when I looked in the mirror, they looked perfectly symmetrical, and quite attractive. What could that possibly mean?

I am convinced that all dreams mean something. Sometimes the most ordinary things turn out to have deep meaning, because they are personal to the dreamer. Opening a bag of chips from the bottom of the bag, then realizing it, rolling the opening up and clipping it with a clothespin and reopening it from the top could seem mundane, unlikely, or just plain odd to dream about-- or it could mean that I (being the one who dreamed this) have been eating my intangible food all backwards, and need to relearn things from the top down (God's view), instead of the bottom up (earthly view). I told my sister that silly dream, and she said she got the distinct impression that my dreams were going to start being very prophetic, in the future-sense kind of way.
It certainly seems like my dreams have meaning. I rarely wake and forget them, and I rarely miss asking myself the question, “what did that mean?”
Sometimes it is God, I know. I will have the burning itch to write them down immediately, in all their detail. They will hang in my mind throughout the day like a persistent scent in your house that will not fade or let you forget about it. Sometimes I think my mind is just working itself out, and even in those times, it is important to analyze them, even if it is only to know yourself better. Your subconscious gets you a lot better than your conscious does, I think.

I listened to another podcast today. It's called something like, “60 second science,” and during this particular set of sixty seconds, the woman was talking about sleep, and how that new scientific study has determined that people work through memories while they sleep, and learning. They tested rats' brain activity. They put them in a maze and recorded their brain activity as they worked their way though it. Then, when the rats went to sleep, they measured their brain activity again. It was identical to that activity they had while going through the maze-- the sequence and volume of thought were identical, as if they were re-living their memories. Then the lady talked about how people try to learn something, like how to play a song, for instance, and it is almost always probable that after sleeping, the task is easier, as if they have been practicing it in their subconscious when they sleep.

I seem to remember hearing of an inventor who, when faced with a dilemma, would think about it, and go to sleep, knowing that almost certainly he would have the solution upon waking. Was it Einstein? I'm not sure. I can't remember, but the concept makes sense to me. A lot of scientists have dreamed solutions and theories. Put that baby of a conscious to sleep and mamma subconscious can get the housework done.

Spring has finally sprung! In.... late August??

 

 

 

 

That's what happens when you plant seeds in late May!

puddles part 2

I am definitely a pacifist. On Sunday, at church, during the “musical portion” of our service, there were a great number of things running through my head. I was thinking of ­The Shack, the part when Mack is in the cave, and Wisdom challenges him to judge half of his kids to hell. Of course he could not do it, though he himself was demanding God to judge his enemy to hell. All people are his children. He has a purpose and calling for each human being. How unjust it is for us to demand the death of our enemies, when God already paid the ultimate price for those enemies' lives.

Jesus died for Hitler, I thought as we sang. It would be better for me to die at the hands of Hitler than for me to take a life that Jesus paid for with His blood. So, I'm a pacifist, and I'm against corporal punishment. Who am I to decide when a human being has run out of chances. The thought seems even more preposterous from the position of someone who doesn't believe in ultimate reconciliation. I wonder, how can a sane Christian believe corporal punishment is okay, especially if they also believe that hell is an eternal lake of burning fire?
“Sorry. Jesus died for you, but I decided His life wasn't worth that much so I'm going to discard what He paid for. It's not working right.”
There is never supposed to be an end to forgiveness. People condemn themselves to their hell the moment they decide something that pulls them away from God. The suffering of living without Him is the greatest suffering. IMHO.
I'm not an idiot. I wouldn't put a child molester in a room with a little kid. But I wouldn't kill him.

So many of our decisions are based on fear, and we don't even know it. Should fear be allowed to dictate the way we reason? No. We are afraid of appearing weak if we do not go to war. If we do not send our young men to turmoiled countries. We want the world to know how powerful we are. There you have the perfect mix of pride and fear, all rolled into one bittersweet dose of misdirection. Mmmm. Yummy. We can fork that down with our “our way right away” mentality and our “my four and no more” way of living. “Yum! Pass the pork skins, please!”
So we are born into a world of institutions. Our governemnt is an institution. Our country is run by them. Even our churches have become institutions, when the system of our beliefs are dictated by tradition, what is socially “acceptable,” and whatever is passed down the pike from the hi-er-ups in our church institution.
Well that is just so wrong. Church isn't supposed to be an institution. It's supposed to be a body. Living and moving as one, lead by the Head, Jesus. Moving with the Spirit.

It baffles me to no end that Christians get so riled up about Democrat's high hopes for helping the underdogs of the world. The church isn't doing her job healing the sick, feeding the poor, loving the strangers and the orphans and the widows, so SOMEbody has to do it! And since this world works in systems and institutions, and since there apparently is no alternative to that (because the church isn't who she's supposed to be yet), they try to do whatever good they can. They see people who want love, and they accept them with tolerance, because us Christians don't know how to: love gays. Forgive criminals. Help those in need. Give up what we have for the benefit of the group. These are things we are supposed to do! But when the systems of the world try to act on the good that has been written on their hearts, Christians, of all people, are outraged! Our “conservative” thinking can become a way of preserving our OWN systems. Our OWN traditions. Our pride.

When Adam fell, it was because he ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I realized this past Sunday that, for my whole life, subconsciously, I believed all people were born evil, and it was only through salvation that they could even remotely possess the ability to be “good.”
What a skewed perception of truth. Adam fell because he ate of the tree. He sinned. Therefore all are born sinful. The scripture is not: “All are born evil.” It is, “all are born sinful.” Sin is most often a mark-missing, not an outright rebellion to known truth. In fact, every person has the KNOWLEDGE of good and evil within them. GOOD. And evil. People who don't know Christ can act good. Just as people who know Christ can act evil. Good and evil are quantifying what people do and think, not the people themselves. People are sinful. After Christ, they can be grace-filled.
So, it is possible for people to work in the framework of institutions, but want to do good! How dare we, Christians, get angry when people who are suffering the repercussions of our un-Christ-like-ness, when they try to actually do something about it?

People don't know how to love. When we learn how to love, the world will be saved. They will know we are Christians by our love. Do you think mothers of fallen Taliban soldiers are overjoyed at our great display of love? To the point of saying, “who is the God they serve?”
Not so much.
You think that is too extreme? To think our love could save our enemies? Yet that is what we are indeed called to do. Hello! So take it to the extreme! Jesus was always extreme.
You think they are getting away with things? You think we will be walked all over? Seems to me it would take a much stronger person to react in undiluted love than to react in aggression or force.
Imagine if all Christians, instead of fighting people, fought the demons influencing them with prayer.
Imagine if all Christians who even know about speaking faith, used that lesson to speak salvation to the world in addition to speaking things like health and financial freedom. Let's take the knowledge we have and apply it to greater things. Let's dream a little bigger than the spaces between the walls of our house, or our church, or our organizations.

Here's a thought. God can do anything he wants. He could strike someone dead. He has that power. He sees people murdering, molesting, raping, pillaging. He could kill them if he wanted, but He doesn't. Why? He gave people the power of choice. Why did He do that? Because He wants them to choose Him. Eventually, that they might choose Him. So if God lets these people live, in hopes that they will accept Christ, who are we to say, “you're dead. You'll never choose God. No more chances.” and -pow-. They're dead.

Okay. That's all for now. It's time to watch Star Trek with my Husband. Now there's a society RIFE with institution!

dribble puddles part 1

“How do I start this?”
“”One upon a time...” I'm here for your support if you need it.”

“I need to blog about this,” is what I have said like fifteen times in the past few weeks, but did I? No. Now I'm supposed to remember all those things I said I needed to blog about? Highly unlikely. But there are a small number of things I will try to write about. It may seem random, but, I am a girl in flux, so, that's the way it's going to puddle up.

I'm a Christian. Therefore I am a conservative, right? Also, therefore I am a Republican, right? I am realizing-- not so much.

This is how I see it: Christians are people who follow Christ. Believers are people who believe that Jesus was God's son, and what Christ says. This belief manifests in changed thinking and behavior. Religion is when people take their belief, act on it, and then perpetuate those actions in their lives, and instruct others to do so in theirs. Believing in Christ and His teaching is not the same thing as religion. Religion can elevate tradition, even to the point of ignoring the changes that come as a result of actual relationship with the Spirit of God. These traditions can even become law to people-- actions that they believe they must do to be righteous in God's eyes. It replaces belief altogether. Therefore religion is an enemy of actual faith. Religion puts people in bondage, while faith in Jesus and his grace sets people free to know God already accepts them as righteous. Religion condemns. Grace sets free.

It is the way of this world to label people. It is the way of the world to define even these labels mistakenly. I would rather call myself a believer than a Christian. When once “Christian” meant “anointed” or “follower of Christ,” now it has become a label filled with bad insinuations.

What is a Christian to today's modern society?

hypocrite.
republican.
conservative.
sheltered.
fanatic.

All of these things are, at one time or another, associated with this label of Christian. And then, amidst the whole lot, you've got protestants, catholics, evangelicals, charismatics, Pentecostals, reformed, “non-denominationals,” etc etc etc.

Yes! Lets separate ourselves within ourselves! Is that not what we do with more labels? Let's put more walls up to keep us from looking at each other individually. Instead of getting to know a person and just learning how they worship, let's dictate how they do, and then let's look at people who are different than us as “less informed,” as “deceived.” Phooey. Sure, people can be wrong. Groups of people can be wrong about theology, but that's not the criteria for being in a family, anyway. We are brothers and sisters because of who our Parent is, not because we are alike. We are a family because we were born that way, not because we liked each other and decided to live in the same house.

I am having a hard time writing this. I think I am censoring myself so as not to upset certain people... all different kinds of people. People who don't even consider themselves Christians, Christians who have very different opinions than me- different theology. Well... I need to stop thinking that way. I feel so strongly about things and I tame it in fear of upsetting the masses. The masses will always be upset. At least I will have the sense of satisfaction of speaking my mind. There is a certain satisfaction in expressing yourself to others, isn't there? And if God gave me this brain that I keep using... even if I make mistakes, at least I'm using it.

“At least we're trying to figure things out,” I said to my husband after having a conversation about possibly contradictory-to-our-past-theology-thinking. “Even if we're wrong, God knows we're trying to understand Him better, and He must be pleased with that.” Eventually we will discover more of God, if we keep searching. If our motives are right, and we are not just trying to disprove other people, if we are seeking to make our experience jive with a reality that reflects His character, lives that are printed with evidence of His touch, we are on the right path. To seek God is to grow into yourself.

When I believed Jesus paid the price for my sins and saved me, my spirit woke up to true reality-- to a new world. I was born. You see, I was never myself before I knew Him, because He created me for a specific purpose and destiny. The opportunity for fulfilling that destiny became reality when I finally knew who He was. Therefore, I was born. He knew it would happen. Even before I was formed, He knew I would eventually have real life. So, I became, because of Him. But my brain isn't quite caught up to the heights of heaven yet. He sees me as I truly am, because He can see into my spirit-- into my full potential as a human being-- into the fulfillment of the purpose He gave me. My soul is just catching up. Every day I feed my mind like I feed my body. As I feed my body natural food, I feel my soul its nourishment as I renew my mind in the truth of what exactly Jesus did and paid for when He died for me. As I understand all of that, all the what-seems-like limitless scope of what His grace gives me, my thinking and my heart start to grow up. For it is food that helps our bodies grow and mature in the natural. It is food, also, that helps our souls grown and mature in the intangibles. Day by day I try to learn what He thinks-- through His letters to us, through the Spirit that speaks to me, through the gifts He has supplied me with, so that with the knowledge of His truth, by understanding what He reveals from His own being, I can mature. I can become like him. So that the work is completed in me.

The bar was raised when He raised me to heavenly places in Himself. As I mature in my relationship with Him, and get to know Him better, my soul will catch up. The truth is, I'm already up there, because my spirit is joined with Him. It's just that... I don't know it yet. Not really. If I really knew it, my life would be drastically different. I am coming to know it more every day.

I am not my experience. I am my potential. The potential of Missy is what God sees. He sees my finished product-- what I will be when I have a full understanding of grace, when I take that and act on it. It will effect every aspect of my life, and my guess is that I will look very different than I do today. Each revelation He gives me of different aspects or truths about Himself will change different facets of my life.

Right now, I would really appreciate a revelation of His redemption of my physical well being!! Please, Lord? :o) So if I really want that, I should seek Him regarding it. Instead of wishful thinking, perhaps I should study the word about it. Perhaps I should pray to Him about it, converse with Him about it, listen to Him about it. By renewing my mind in the truth of His grace shed for me, it Has to happen, because it is the truth, and I am understanding it more and more, and my body will inevitably follow.

more to come...

it's a sad story.

Melissa,

The frescatta's were a low selling item, and that is why they were taken off the menu. We now have chicken wraps that are close to pita's, and hopefully you have tried those.


Jane Frazier
Supervisor, Customer Service
Wendy's Inc

More than Just America

I am a family man. It's considered a virtue to love one's family.
In this time, it is my source of suffering.
My family is torn away, torn down, torn and scattered to pieces.
I am a family man.

My brother, whom I love, was shot yesterday.
He was home with his sons in the garden.
The men came with their beards and dragged him to the street,
and there before his sons, in the streets of his grandfathers,
shot him.

I am a family girl. I need my family around me.
In this time, I am suffering.
My family is torn away, torn down, torn and scattered to pieces.
I am a family girl.

My sister, whom I love, was raped yesterday.
She was drawing water from the well.
They told her she was less than a dog, and as their jewels clinked,
kicked her to a corner, and after they had their fill,
they left her.

I am a brother. I love my brother.
In this time, he is suffering.
My brother is torn away, torn down, torn and scattered to pieces.
I am a brother.

My brother, whom I love, is in the streets of a city.
He is scraping for crumbs of garbage.
People pass him by under the bridge, and don't even notice,
my brother is dying on the sidewalk,
they pay him no mind.

I am a sister. I love my sister.
In this time, she is suffering.
My sister is torn away, torn down, torn and scattered to pieces.
I am a sister.

My sister, whom I love, has lost a leg.
She stepped on a land mine.
People feared to help her as she lay screaming.
My sister almost died in the dust,
for she was alone with the consequences.

We are a family.
We are suffering.
We are torn away, torn down, and scattered to pieces.
We are more than an American 9-5.
We are more than a respectable sallary and a guest bathroom.
We are more than latest gadgets and movie theaters.
We are all people, all lands, all languages.
We are suffering.

July dreams

July 4, 2008

BOMB DREAM1:
I was in Lisa’s kitchen, looking out the windows, but my view was a hill in Manchester that I knew Lisa’s house was near or on. I saw a bomb fall on the hill and explode. I called Lisa frantically. She answered. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was okay but she could see everything from where she was. Then I looked and saw a second bomb drop on the hill. I yelled to Lisa on the phone, “Lisa! Lisa!” And she didn’t answer for some time, so I was afraid. Then I heard her. She said, “I need to be alone,” and hung up. I wondered if she was in shock.

July 5, 2008
BOMB DREAM2:
I was in the back room at Jesse Remington. I had had a vision and was explaining it. The vision was that someone was going to drop bombs on multiple places in the United States. I was looking at a map of the US, and one of the places was Candia, NH, specifically Jesse Remington. I was telling this vision to Lynn Hiles and Mrs. B. I said, “it must have been a disgruntled student. Why else would someone choose such a small town to hit? It has no significance.” Then I was walking down a hallway with Lynn Hiles. It kind of looked like a hospital hallway. He said, “You have no idea what’s going to happen.” And I knew that he meant in the next ten or fifteen years.

Later on the day after I dreamt that, the phrase came to me: “Disgruntled students are going to bomb old teaching.”

July 6, 2008

Dream 497.2 [I had a lot of dreams last night!]

I had a dream of having a dream of Aunt Sandy [who is paralyzed from the waist down because she has MS]. She was standing up and had one foot propped behind her other knee. In my dream I woke myself up by shouting, “what!” a few times. Then I was at church telling my mom of my dream of Aunt Sandy. I think Donna was there. I said, what do you think would happen if Aunt Sandy went on an all-raw-organic foods diet? They both said, “she’d probably be healed.” Then my mom said, “but she could never get food like that up there where she is [in the nursing home in Berlin].” I then thought, with enough money, anything is possible.

We were setting the chairs up at church. The room was empty of chairs, and Malcolm and I had the idea to turn the room around so that the speakers and podium would fit in the recesses of the walls [around the door]. But then whoever else decided against it. Pastor Steve might not like it because he wants to be near the windows and not near the door. So, the seats were set up. I had Celeste’s dance pants, so I gave them to her AGAIN.

I went over to the left back corner, but instead of Lisa and Bob, Kathy and Danny were sitting there. Kathy said, “oh Missy, Danny reminded me of the scripture that talks about the clouds crushing the mountains.” As if I had earlier asked her if there were any scriptures that talked about mountains being crushed. My first thought was—hey! Danny is here, and remembering scriptures! And then—wow. Clouds? I better look that up.

I ate something sweet, like a brownie or something, and wanted a soda to wash it down. I asked Malcolm if I could get one from the soda machine and he said no. I was mad, but I also figured he was right because soda is bad for me, and maybe I could chew a piece of gum and then drink some water. I went to my seat. Someone had put a cookie under it. I think it was Rachel. She had passed them out. It was homemade and good. I started to eat it.

Then I saw that our seats were no longer at the hotel, but in the parking lot at Jesse Remington. We were about to start and then I saw that there was a bunch of little toddler girls in pink bathing suits towards where the basketball hoop used to be. There was a guy there with a hose. He said, “maybe it was a bad idea to try to combine summer camp with your church!” as he tried to corral the kids off of the parking lot towards the basketball court.

[I believe this dream is about centering ourselves on the door: Jesus. We are to reposition ourselves so that our worship and the Word focuses on Him.

I think the first part about my Aunt being healed and even being able to balance on one leg, and the "impossibility" of getting the pure food she needed to her in her present condition, connects with the part about the cloud crushing the mountain. Only the pure gospel, the pure presence of God can crush the mountains of circumstance. It is possible for healing to take place, and balance in understanding of God, but only by the presence of God, and through the door of Christ.
No more mixture (brownie), no more substitute, and no more washing substitutes and mixture down with more "artificial sweeteners!" we need to suck the mixed gospel out (gum) and wash our mouths with pure water. Then we can digest the true, natural food from God.
And there is no room for young thinking anymore. It won't work anymore, in our church. Old school teaching (Jesse Remington) must cease.]

Dream 498.1
I dreamt I was laying in bed with Malcolm. He was sleeping. There were a couple of people at the end of my bed. There were multiple voices speaking, as if your mind is racing and you can’t control it. One of the people was transparent—an old woman. She was floating, I think, near the mirror. They were talking about me. I thought that if I tried to pretend I was sleeping, they would go away. They did exit the room. Then there were a bunch more, who came in and were on the bed on the other side of Malcolm. They were trying to provoke me. I tried to wake Malcolm up, by calling his name, but he was sleeping. There were a couple of children, a girl and a boy, and a woman, and maybe another one. I start to hit them in their faces. First the girl and the boy, and then the woman. It made them stop talking for a second but then they’d talk again. I hit the woman. Then she hit me back! I was surprised. They weren’t supposed to be able to do that. I wined in real life and woke myself and Malcolm up.

Then Malcolm said, "I love you, go back to sleep."

And I think this real-life response was the response that was needed to combat the confusing sentiments of the enemy. "I love you. Rest." Isn't that what the Spirit says to us when our minds are racing with contradictions, confusing, and condemnation?

Experience after waking
At some point in the night I was half sleeping and I had this picture in my mind of a blade of wheat, I think, and someone running their fingers up it so that all the grains came off easily and could be eaten. Over and over this image played in my mind. Then the phrase came into my head, “Adam and eve had the knowledge of good in every plant in the garden.” And I thought about how nature reflects God and His ways, and how every living thing also reflects that glory, and that they could have learned about goodness in every plant in the garden, if they had sought it.

Dream 205
I dreamt I was in a car at night with some old friends. I was sitting between Matt McVey, who was driving, and someone else I loved on my right. I was happy. We were all having fun. We went to a house in Candia. Tram’s house (but it really wasn’t). We went inside and it was cozy compared to the outside. We all decided to go and take a night walk in the woods in the snow. I was trying to put extra socks on and boots, and everyone else was going out. Amy came back for me for a moment, but then she went out again. I went outside. Looking back in, I could see the warm glow from one room that had a mural on the wall of Jesse Remington. I remembered another house that had a mural, as well. I think it was Kathy’s, and I wondered if I should draw a mural on one of my walls. I saw their trail in the woods and could still hear them, and the moon was very bright so it was easy to see. I saw that they went back and forth a few times and I could cut across the paths and catch up with them. I saw the path went through a tight spot in between some trees and remembered that Rachel was leading them.

Dream 333
I was in my old bedroom, I think. I was cleaning. There were boxes I was either sorting or adding to. There were 2 contraptions on the wall where the windows are. They were sink-type things, but they were in strange pieces. The water would come out the top, but the drain was on a bottom section. There was saw dust on them. I knew I needed to vacuum them out. It would be easier than wiping them, which would take long and be messy. I realized that the one on the left was a fountain! The water would come out the spout at the top, fall to the next level that was not attached but in the right position, and so forth until it fell to the last level which was the drain. I was excited, because I thought it would be so cool to have a working fountain in my bedroom, to hear the sound of it while going to sleep.

Dream 407
I was in the foyer of a big-ish house. It was Lisa’s. They must have been unpacking because they were trying to figure out where to hang a light. I took it from her, it was like a lamp, like the half-circle glass kind that you put on a wall, and I said, “how about above the door, like an entrance light?” And I climbed up onto something like a ladder or chair and was holding it high above the entrance-way door for her to see if she liked it there. It was the kind that glows, not shines strongly, so it was welcoming. The walls were also like cobblestone—a warm color.

[again-- put the light on the door: Jesus]

Jesus Remedy

Oh Lord, how wrong I'd been to think You needed anything from me
Oh help me believe that You are enough
Sweet Jesus, I misunderstood Your purpose was never to make me do
anything but be myself, as You made me, to live what You gave me

You are more than enough for me
I'm done striving and struggling
to be anything, oh anything
So I turn my eyes to You
and forget all those things I thought I had to do
And what do I find?
Just the look in Your eyes
sets me free to be new
The look in Your eyes
purifies me through and through
The sound of Your voice
resonates new life in my heart
The sound of Your voice
restores what everything else had destroyed
for You are the One and only solution
You are the source of man's restitution
You are all I'll ever need
You are all I'll ever need
You are my remedy, Jesus

Oh Jesus, I thought if I tried really hard I'd get something done
but all of my something's add up to nothing without you
Help me to see that You are everything
and we are to be only and always wanting You only

Here We Are (another song without their chords)

Sing, we will sing of our King Jesus
Praising His name, we focus again
Our attention on Him, we honor Him as Lord
Of our lives, we do not despise the call

He predestined us before the ages began
Calling us with His limitless love
And all can come to touch His heart
The heart of Jesus beats in us
And we can feel His life breathing in us
Here we are

Each one of us was made with purpose
To accomplish what He speaks in us to do
And day by day we hear His Spirit guiding
We're multiplying, we're death defying!

Growing together as His body
Moving as one in His thoughts
Speaking and preaching and healing together
Blessed by His hand, freed to withstand any circumstance

Here we are
Loving and moving and changing and seeing
Hearing His voice and doing good works
Born from a definite faith

Here we are, because of Him
Here we are, praising Him
Here we are, living inside of Him, Jesus... Jesus...

response to a post i recently read that made me want to respond to it...

I'm subscribed to this person's blog, and don't get me wrong, I know he is a great person. In fact, last Christmastime I won a DVD set from him, which was very nice indeed. But he posted this article, "Is God Judging America for Our Immorality?"

I have heard this before. Christians saying that God is upset with us for the collective sins we are practising, therefore America is not the "blessed nation" she once was-- how we have strayed from our Christian heritage and because of this our country is going to pot because God has removed His hand of blessing from us-- that He's angry and judging us for all that we are not.

To me, this concept goes against everything I know about my relationship with God. God WILL NOT judge ME based on someone else's behaviour. However strange that idea may seem, if you think that God is judging America as a whole for our collective behaviour, I would say you are wrong. And here's why:

1. God's wrath was laid on one person and one person only: Jesus Christ. Jesus was made sin for us that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.

2. God works with individuals now. He might have burned up Sodom and Gomorrah in the O.T., but even in that instance, He was capable of seeing Lot and bringing him out of that situation.

3. The only judgement left is self-judgement. Hell is self-inflicted, and if this country is going to pot it's not because God is sending us there, it's because we're walking there all by ourselves.

4. God can bless those who are near Him even if the world around them is falling apart. If you find your identity in Christ, you should have no worries of being dragged down into a ditch by those around you. We operate in a system different from the world. We can have hope and happiness in the midst of chaos because Christ is our peace.

The whole argument that God is judging America seems to be based on Old Testament principles-- that if a nation turned away from God and forsook His ways, they would be judged. They would be cursed. They would be conquered by their enemies. Well, people! It doesn't work like that anymore! There is a new covenant with God, based SOLELY on Jesus Christ and His grace. It's not a matter of doing something to be counted as righteous anymore; it's simply believing that Jesus did enough for us. Understanding this means that you will have no more fear of God's judgement, for He judges you righteous. When God looks at you, all He sees is a smitten spotless lamb, and you are ruled righteous. BAM. That's it.

Do I think America is sinking down into the mire? Yes. But it's not God's doing. God is awaiting the day when His people will individually turn their hearts to Him-- turn their focus to the cross that set us free and paid all our debts, and when we start living out that revelation of His grace, things will certainly begin to turn in the direction we need to go.

Did David Know?

I know that You lead me in paths of righteousness
For You are the Way and You are my righteousness
It’s all for Your name’s sake
It’s all for Your name’s sake

And I know that even though I sometimes walk through the valley
I won’t fear for God, You’re still near, You are still my Way
And You will still me, and You will bring me through
And You will still me, and You will bring me through

You guide me, Shepherd, and I want nothing but You
You make me lie down in open spaces
Leading me beside resting waters
I let You fill me, Your waters of life
Prince of Peace
Fill me

You prepare a table before me in the enemy’s presence
That I might taste and know that You are good
And so my head is lifted to Your heights
And I can see Your goodness and mercy following me

It’s all for Your name’s sake
It’s all for Your name’s sake

You are our way, You are our righteousness
You are wisdom, You are truth and justice
You’re life, You’re love, You’re joy, You’re strength
You’re hope, You’re light, You’re peace and the blessing

Oh Jesus… Jesus… Jesus…

*this is a song, but posting the chords now would be pointless

Random tangent thoughts during church

God is a faith being.
He spoke before there was thought of words, and created from nothing.
We were created in His image.
We are faith beings.
We are always believing in something, whether it be good or bad.
~
Fear is not a lack of faith, it is faith in the possibility of the bad.
If you are fearing something, you are putting your faith into that belief of something negative.
~
I just have to be myself-- not a youth group leader, or a music ministry leader, or a good Christian example-- but myself. As I discover my own identity I will be the person other people (kids/ Christians/ the world) need. I can only be found in Christ Himself, so finding myself is finding Him.
~
Sin separates us from God, not God from us.
~
If I don't know what to say, I fall back on love. Revert to love. Default to love. Deny judgement or else-- rule a ruling of love.
~
Are you what you do? Then why do you seek what God does, instead of God Himself? We are thankful for what He does, but we should love HIM. Miracles are just what He does. If someone makes you feel good-- recognizes you are a creative, intelligent, wonderful person, doesn't that make you want to create something for them? Or to create in general? But if they praise your work and ignore who you are, and if they are constantly seeking more of your works-- are you writing? are you healing people? are you fixing this? blessing this? -- it gets REALLY old and makes you want to avoid them! Our focus must not be on what God is doing-- but on God Himself. Our focus must not be what on people do-- but on them.

Victory

I must have victory
I will have victory
I only must speak
in the dark season, I need only speak
a Word
and I'll have the victory
You gave that much to me

I must have victory
You gave that much to me
No little amount it was
to pay for victory

I must have victory
throughout all the parts of me
both my soul and body
I will have victory

Teach me Your word and help- me to speak
sometimes the words are trapped in my tongue
to let them flow freely and take what I need
from your power, every type of hour
good and bad and and worse and worse
to speak amidst my sins and shortcomings
could give me victory
could turn the tide and be
the hope of all glory

I need that victory
I need such victory
I must have victory
I will have victory
you gave that much to me
you gave that much to me

next time, I'll speak
and get the victory

Room for You to Move

How can I possibly begin the conversation about You
You are so big.
How can I possibly contain you in words or topics of my conversing?
How to explain how I believe what I believe of what You have said to me

One facet leads to another leads to another leads to another in You

One stream leads to another leads to another leads to another in You

Your greatness leads to the bottomless depths of love found in your sweet face
Your greatness leads to Your power leads to Your mercy leads to your endless grace

How to share what I have when what I have is overtaking me
I can barely contain it yet I so long to feed the ones in need
I suppose all I can do is surrender to Your direction and let you carry me
moving never stopping ever growing and flowing
and maybe when they see me going they'll get swept up too

Here we're going flipping and sliding and twirling and flying
forward never stopping here we go
You're moving, You're moving
Don't have to keep up, just have to hold on to You and You'll swim me along in Your stream

You're moving
You're moving

Missed Concept Ions

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

A common perception of God is that He is too lofty for us to understand. We mere mortals could never comprehend His ways. He is so big, and we are so small, how could we dare think God would want us to know what He is thinking? Right??

Wrong, yo! I had a good chuckle when I read the context of the above verses. Take a look:

6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.

7 Let the wicked forsake his way
and the evil man his thoughts.
Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, [talking to the wicked, evil man!]
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

So, here's God talking to the wicked, telling them that His thoughts are higher than theirs.

God: "Hello, please! I have a better way than the one you are taking! Look up! For I am sending down the Word of mercy and pardon! I will share with you what you need to bud and grow and yield seed and fruit for nourishment. I send my Word to you, and it does what it's supposed to."

Super God-nature Happenings

New series: I would normally say inexplicable, but it is explainable, because it's the way God works. So, if such an occurrence happens, I hope to share it.

Yesterday we had a women's meeting at Kathy's. It was time to pray and Kathy felt we should circle up with a guitar and spend some time speaking to God. So, there we were praying. A thought came to my mind to share a little testimony, which was this: My grandmother started a little tradition of saying, "I love you more," when she was told she was loved. Then, the other person would say "I love you more" back, and the cycle would continue until one person gave up. I started saying "I love you more" to Malcolm, but a little bit ago I decided that instead of it meaning, "I love you more than you love me," it means, "I love you more than I did before," so, in a sense, I am always professing that I love him more and more. Lately I have been feeling a greater love for him than before, and I realized my confession may be having an effect! (you condition your brain with your words, you know)
So, I felt that we should not just tell God that we love Him, but that we love Him more.
We spent some time singing a short chorus I began, "I love you more than yesterday, I love you more, I love you Lord."

After we finished, one person felt led to pray for another and they were doing so when Sandy came (a lady who functions in the prophetic). She hadn't been there before when we were talking about loving God more. She began praying for the woman, and she began telling her that she was going to receive more of the things that she already had from the Lord. Then she prayed for another lady, and again the theme was that this lady was going to be receiving more from God of the things that she had. Then she prayed for a third lady, and she said the same, that God was giving her more of Himself, and then she even prayed that this woman would have more love for the Lord than she had before. Talk about confirmation!
I was thinking-- here we are, fixing our eyes on God, telling Him that we love him more than before, and making that our confession, and then He returns the gesture by telling us that we are receiving more of Him and His goodness!

And that's my tale of super God-nature happenings for today.

For we do not wrestle against liberals and bureaucrats,

but against principalities,
against powers,
against the rulers of the darkness of this age,
against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.


Something tells me that if all the Christians that spend all their time on all their worries about liberals taking over, decided to focus all that energy on praying for and blessing all those people, this country would be a very different place.

Call me ritualistic.

I'm going to make You my ritual
Come to you every day
and live in it, and in You
and leave those things I can't
touch or move or push or change

I'm going to make You my ritual
ritualistic reading
ritualistic prayers
ritualistic dancing
and writing songs
and breathing in and out
over and over again
the Breath you are

I'm going to make You my ritual
pay You homage in the morning
with the doves
in the dusk
with the crickets
in the day
with the running water
in the night
I'll chase You in my dreams
It will be my ritual

And if they accuse me of religion
I won't let the mistook take my attention

Habit is more powerful than desire.
I will repeat the practice of loving You
not in the words of my tongue
but the deeds and in truth
I'm going to make You my ritual.

stream of thought while being bored subbing

I’m subbing at ---. My eyes are so tired. It’s a little cold in here, but not as bad as downstairs. There are 17 minutes left to this school day, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t get on facebook to play scrabulous. I can’t get on most websites. All pictures are blocked, because this is a school, and there’s a firewall so that the kids won’t spend their time on wasteful or inappropriate sites.
So I’m bored. When I go home, I have a sink full of dishes to do, a bed to be made, a floor to be vacuumed and washed. Some ice-coffee to be drank. And I am excited to do this. To get out of this room. I feel like I’m in high school again, and the clock is moving as slowly as it did was I was in the desk facing the front of the room, where I sit now.
My husband is at work. He’s not enjoying it. I want him to have freedom. He gave it to me; I want him to have it, too. If he wanted to quit and get a consulting job, I would trust him to make his decision and God to provide, even if things would temporarily be unstable. He’s working on a new money-making scheme with his friend. They hope it will replace their desk jobs. I hope so, too. I also hope it is an achievable goal. I think it is.
That is enough about that. My fingers are cramping up. I’ve been having pain in my hands after I use them a lot. After knitting. And chopping raw chicken. After typing on this tiny keyboard in this terrible posture.
Eleven more minutes and I’ll be able to pack up and head out. I’m ready for those 11 minutes to be over. I’m reading a book about an autistic savant. He sees numbers as colors and shapes. What would I see eleven as. Hmm. I think eleven looks like trees that are about to form buds, but are still trapped in winter. But almost. The buds are mustering themselves to pop out.
Now it is 2:51. That means 9 minutes left. I see nine as a fat goldfish. His lips are kissing water bubbles. He’s not gold, though. He’s orange. 9 is an orange gold-fish.
Still 2:51. How long does it take to write a paragraph? Apparently, less than a min… oh! It’s 2:52. I see 2 as… what. No, that’s not what matters, but 8. Eight is the number that matters now. I see 8 as a foot-long… no, a 3 foot-long sub. The kind with all the meats and cheeses and vegetables. The kind you split into pieces for a party.
2:53. Seven minutes left. I see seven as a gate. The kind on cemeteries, or rich people’s houses. Only it’s gold, not black. It’s shiny. And it leads to….
2:54. Six minutes left. I don’t like the number six. Probably because it’s been subconsciously engrained in my brain that it’s a bad number. The number “of the beast.” But I am the beast. Or at least, I was the beast, before Jesus.
I like Jesus. I like the thought of going home to my apartment and to my husband, who will come later. I will tell him how boring this day was. Was it worth the 60-ish dollars that I’m going to make?
Wow. 2:55. I got a lot of words in there. That’s because I cheated and wrote 2:54 before it actually happened. You know my secret. I lied, even to this secret document that nobody will probably ever read.
Nobody does a lot of things.
Five minutes left. Five is a hand. I’m sorry it’s so elementary, but it just is. It’s a hand.
2:56. Four minutes left. Four… four is banana’s. Yellow, ready-to be peeled, bananas. They aren’t the super long kind. They’re almost small. I guess you could say that they are average-sized bananas. I don’t really like banana’s, except in sandwiches, with toast and butter.
2:57. Three minutes left. Only three! That’s not a lot at all. In three minutes, I will hit save. Three is… a street light. The kind that stands on the side, not the kind that hangs down, with a silver post. The light is red, though. So you’re still not going anywhere. But it has the potential of turning Green. For some reason, though, it wants to turn yellow, which I have informed it, is utterly impossible at this juncture.
2:58. Two minutes left. I like two. Two is… bowls. Colorful plastic bowls that don’t break when you drop them and are great for eating cereal. Any kind, really. They are good for cherios as well as cookie crunch. One is red but it is faded to almost pink.
2:59. One minute left. I mine as well hit save now. It will take me a minute to do that and close the computer.
Much love to all!

not

My first experience subbing for not-JR has been enlightening. It is very different here at not-JR than it was at JR. It’s much more structured, but also still feels free-full. There are formats and times separated by blocks, but still no bells, no bullies, no brainlessness. I appreciate this other school, and recall warm memories of my own from my youth. I wonder if the difference is more than just activity, but if it delves into the deepness of spirituality. During chapel, the kids seem to be more introspective, more worshipful, more participatory, than what I remember as a student at JR. At one point during chapel, which was lead by Wiwam, they called for all of the boys to go to the front of the room to “lead” in worship. And they did go, and they did lead. It was pretty inspirational, to see those young men with their voices and hands raised. I remember JR, and the boys that went there, and the vast differences between those youths and these. Not-JR has multiple outside ministries come in and lead the kids throughout the year. I remember back to one particular time when some outside ministry had come to Not-JR. I wasn’t involved with the school, except to be one who cares for and knows a group of kids who attend. One Sunday at church, all of these kids got up, one after the other, and gave testimonies of how they were rededicating their lives to God. And I saw those kids as the weeks, months, and few years unfolded, and I saw that the changes were permanent. It seems that it wasn’t just a “motion” that the kids went through that they would let fall by the wayside. Instead, it was real. I remember back to my chapel days at JR, and wonder, what exactly is the difference? I know where my heart was then. I know where the attention of a lot of the kids was then, and it wasn’t the Lord. I remember the examples we had. But were they truly spiritual examples? It was more about doing and building things than about experiencing life-changing faith. Here, it seems that spiritual activities are the most important, when teachers would forgo classes if the kids are engaged in life-touching prayer and worship. I don’t remember a single “revival” at JR, yet I can count a handful of testimonies of God showing Himself anew and in strength to the kids in this school, just from the handful of kids and teachers and office assistants that I know. I am happy to be involved even slightly in this school. While I have no aspirations of becoming a teacher, I have aspirations of becoming a helper. If the Lord would have me to help even in small ways here in this kind of ministry, I would be happy to oblige.

blabadee bloo

Life is hard if you take it all in one gulp. It can hurt, like when you swallow something accidentally, like a big ice cube or something.

So, my epiphany for the day is: I will take it one day at a time.

If you take it a day at a time, it's not so hard. You do the best with what you have in your possession: your time today, your motives today, your money today, and mostly-- your worship!

If I was smart, I would forget my yesterdays, except what I learned from them and the positive memories. All the other stuff I could just throw out!!! So, maybe I should keep track of what I learn, drop the rest, and focus on today. No grudges. No unforgiveness of any sort. No guilt! No condemnation. No regret. Only lessons learned and pleasantries remembered.

So screw yesterday! It's dead anyway. I can handle a day at a time, in the strength of the Lord, and then all my future will just flow from right decisions today. And when you're walking in the Spirit, you make the right decisions. You take the right path. You hear the voice of the Lord who can guide you through anything and INTO anything. And all of your future is expectation of glory!

Yippee!! That's my plan! Yippee!

Jesus, PAALEEEEAAASE help me remember this when things get tough!

So, maybe I should start a list of lessons learned, and try to focus on those. Take my eyes off the negative. EESH!! Enough already!

sweet life blows in

my house was stale
i tried to fix it up best I could
with pretty things covering my bare walls
with piles of pretty things, soft things
stacking up all the way to the ceiling
but it was still foul
everything trapped inside with nowhere to go
until you tapped on my window
and i opened it up to you, Mr. Breeze
and you blew all around me
and I smell sweet
Sweet is circling around
rustling my bed coverings
making my curtains waltz to the tune
You hum as you come inside
And now my house is full all the way up
and smells of the wonders of your life again
and You make everything that just
looked
pretty.

sunlight + WZID = helps

I feel like crap. My body is screeching at me. Can't breath. Head aches. And let's face it, cramping. Like a woman in labor, I tell you. But, the sun is streaming through my curtains, and I've got the radio on, and I'm on a t-r-i-p. Back to the days of long walks with Italian Ice up to crystal lake, followed by a few hours of Barbies. Maybe an adventure in the huge drain pipes the construction workers left in the nearby recently-flattened apple orchard that will one day turn into a neighborhood of identical 2-story homes with matching garages. Oh, I'm back to the days of Sheryl and Kristin and their battles over the radio, to the days of lathering bangs with hairspray to create the great 90's wave, to days of bubble tape and sneaking evil horror movies like pet cemetery (I didn't want to do it!), to hot summer days with the overhead fan spinning, my dad kickin' his leg with Mario's jumps, my mom's splendid corn on the cob, Lisa's gardens, Tony's car-waxing, Baby's begging and Cuddles' nuzzling.

Sunlight and WZID helps.

sickness

It is very hard to have gusto when you are experiencing multiple symptoms in your body. It's hard to be nice. I hope I am a good caretaker. Not that I want my husband to be sick, but I hope if he ever does get sick, that I will take great care of him. It's so nice to have someone take care of you, isn't it? My mom is really great at it. And my sister-- my sister is a wonderful caretaker. I hope I have those female-Masson-caretaker-genes inside of me. But, here's hoping, I suppose, that it will be a long time until I find out!

Right now my bedroom must be an icebox. I spent most of the day in there hacking up a lung, and since I just washed the bedding 2 days ago, I don't really feel like doing it again, so the alternative was airing it out. Hopefully all the germs will fly out the window and take up residence on some passing snowflakes, and leave my husband's sleeping space ALONE!

I think I need to go and make myself some more tea.

If you are ever sick, I highly recommend this tea: Traditional Medicinals: Cold Season Herb Tea Sampler. My favorite is the Throat Coat. It tastes like licorice.

I had a couple of these teas at my sister's house yesterday, and she had Stevia, which is a great alternative to sugar and to sugar substitutes. It's from the Stevia plant, has no calories, nothing fake, and is actually quite fibrous and good for you. One packet can replace 2 teaspoons of sugar; it's so sweet.



But, here at home I don't have it, so I have to use honey, which I think is a tiny bit better than sugar, which doesn't help you at all when you're sick.

And that is my random word dump. That's really all that's going on. Other than... I got 4 hours of sleep last night. I was coughing like a mad woman so much, and I didn't want to keep my hubby up so I kept getting up and going into different rooms. Then his alarm clock (bless the Lord), went off at 6. Instant consciousness =ed instant pain and instant need to pee. So... no more sleep. I did take a long nap, so now my total sleep input has been 6 hours. Still not much for someone whose body is in rebellion. Oh well. Soon it will be over, right?

And to think, after all this... by Christ's striped I was healed.
And that is the truth.

find me in the psalms

every time i lose him, he tells me he'll be waiting in the psalms.
he always waits there, because he knows that is where i will go when i have lost the way
or myself.
and he'll be waiting for me, first by the fruit tree-- by the stream.
it's rooted there, and blows in the wind, but still stands tall.
he waits by it and when he sees me enter his eyes seem to...
it's good to see laughter again.
then i can follow him up the hill called Zion.
it's green like new life and hope.
and i can look down from where we are perched and see all that he's given.
i see the expanse of the world, i see the ends of the earth.
did you know the earth only ends in heavens?
and he encompasses me again. a shield to my many foes.
and he takes his right hand and lifts my gaze still higher.
i can't even see the enemy's jaws when i look where he's directing.
he hears me when i say his name-- when i yell it and when i sigh it.
his face is shining to hear me calling the way i'm calling.
i'm sure the darkness is still coming at me, but i tell you, i could lie down right here,
amidst it all, and sleep in peace, with him around me as he is.
and when i wake? oh! he's waiting for me, for my first word to him,
and i wait for his response in the same.
and now i'm going into his house. it's very high, and wide- like his love.
and i can tell him of my suffering. and he can tell me of his.
and he judges it all by his righteousness- from it, through it, and to it,
which is a very unique way of judging. enough to make me sing again.

i can find him always waiting for me there, in the psalms.

(Ps1-7)

you know you have a fever when...

You're sitting in MY living room, with only 1 layer of clothing on, and you feel hot.

I remember fall...

It was brief.

record of goods

Juno e-mail printed Tue, 8 Jul 1997 00:58:30, page 1

From: Chocobug
To: missyrose@juno.com
Subject: Re: hey back at ya......

To prepare a deliciously fragrant and refreshing glass of home made iced tea, simply do what I do, and your friends and family will be sure to rave for summers to come about your culinary skills. I begin by first retrieving a fresh batch of mountain spring water from my little mountain patch in my backyard, which is located behind the chicken coupe, which I have nicknamed, the "Palais de Poulets." If you don't have a mountain patch, you really should think about investing in one. It is really worth the time and effort, as real mountains certainly give your garden space an air of authenticity. It also gives you the false appearance of being very environmentally conscious, which makes you very popular in many pretentious circles.

Next, run the water through a distiller. I have purchased a great distiller from a tag sale in a little peasant town on the outskirts of Ecuador. I really got a steal, by telling the "medicine-woman" of that community that my child was dying of a rare skin disease and talked her down from forty pesos to three and a half pesos. So you see, it really pays to know the value of the currency and the current exchange rates for all countries that you visit on your weekend get-aways.

In any case, run your water through a distiller to extract all of the bad emollients from it before the tea preparation. One "good thing" is to drop scented geranium leaves into the distiller to add the flavor of mint in advance-- it's really a fun idea!

With a copper teaspoon that has recently been polished, measure out two generous teaspoons of Liptons Classic Iced Tea Mixture. Make sure that you are generous with this powdered delicacy, because your guests are sure to notice that you skimped if you don't. Think of it like Caviar. With my Baluga Caviar, I like to use at least 2 ounces per cracker. It makes the guests think that you are whimsical and carefree.

Briskly add it to your water base, and stir in a twirling, vivacious manner until all tea particles have dissolved and you have the consistency of fresh squeezed orange juice with all the pulp removed.

Add ice next. I like to hand carve my ice cubes into little faces resembling the people I have invited over. When they finish the glass and look inside to see an exact replica of themselves staring at them from the bottom of the glass, you will evoke quite a humorous reaction. Be sure to be quite rehearsed in CPR techniques, in the event that one of your guests finds the sight more horrifying than humorous and quickly inhales a chunk of ice, lodging it into their trachea.

Garnish with a fresh sprig of mint, grown in cow manure imported from the Netherlands, and you are ready to serve.

Fresh, home-made iced tea. Sure to please! It's a good thing.

pals gone A-wall

For anyone who is interested in reading about Marco and Christian's adventures on their trip to South America in a car fueled by vegetable oil, check it:

CHITO'S BIG ADVENTURE

bizzare dreams

Lots of them, lately.

2 Nights ago I was walking down a pavement road at night with a bunch of people, particularly my well-suited husband, who was walking beside me-- who was Steven Colbert.

I went to hold his hand and it felt stiff, almost plastic-like, and he said we shouldn't hold hands in public-- because of his image. We were all going somewhere important.

Then I had a dream that I was back in time, a kid, in school, in an assembly in a school gym. I had all the knowledge of life that I have now, but I was a kid, and I thought-- "I'm going to do it right this time. I'm not going to care what people think of me, and I'm going to do whatever I want, knowing that when I grow up, all of this silly grade-school stuff won't even matter." So I went and sat next to the cutest boy in the room. And then! He started teasing me. I thought to him, "you are such an idiot to treat another human being like this. One day you will grow up and realize how stupid it was, but for now I will find the least likely person to want to be friends with and be friends with HIM, since he will probably turn out a better quality than you-- a boy so high on himself that he debases himself to tease little girls mercilessly." (paraphrased)
So I turned around and found a squirmy, nerdy, unpopular, cute in a butter-ball kind of way, little boy and went and sat next to him.

Which turned out to be Job Tate.

Time and life progressed and we became great friends-- with a friendship that lasted through the years.

Waking brought me back to reality.

Then last night- oh my. My house had flooded. We were living in tents. There were strange flesh-eating creatures that looked like armadillo's chasing us.

I ran to a building, through the halls, narrowly escaped a crazed man's grasp, only to be cornered by him as I held two crying children to my sides.


He started to threaten me because they were making so much noise. I told him I loved him. He told me he hated me. I told him I loved him because of Christ's love for him. He told me he hated the world. I told him, yes, the world hates you, but I do not hate you. He started to quiet himself and then in a fit of rebellion and rage he went after me, but two guys grabbed him before he could get me with his claws and shoved him out a window.

Boy oh boy. I need to stop eating past 7PM.

multiples of ...

A few days ago we got a mailing from some Christian organization. It was just one of those newsletters with all sorts of different things regarding this particular denomination. I don't really pay much attention to such things, especially from other churches that I've never been to. My hubby must have signed up for something once. But I decided to peruse it and found a great little article called "The Biotic Principle of Multiplication," written by Daniel R. Abbatiello. He's doing a series on "biotic principles," whatever those are.

Anywho, he talks about the theory of multiplication, how an apple tree produces fruit that produces seeds that produces more apple trees.

I had recently been thinking about God as one who works in this manner of multiplication. I always thought about it, however, in the sense that God gives in abundance, not just tiny bits. He doesn't "add," He goes beyond and "multiplies." It was a cute little explanation. But until I read this article, I didn't realize it is such an important concept to understand-- that of multiplication.

The full glory of an apple tree is not its fruit, but MORE APPLE TREES.

"This principle applies to the local church in the following manner. The true fruit of a Sunday school teacher is not a larger class but another teacher. The true fruit of a small group is not more attendees but another group. The true fruit of a leader is not more followers but another leader. The true fruit of an evangelist is not another convert but another evangelist. The true fruit of a pastor is another pastor. *The true fruit of a church is not a necessarily larger congregation but another church."

(emphasis added by me)

WHAT?!!

Yeah. Suck it up, Missy.
As a girl that's attended a tiny church for all my life, one that I love but one that doesn't seem to ever grow, due to circumstances or not, I find this statement quite awakening.

I believe we must have the right motives for true and full success. Maybe we all need a heart-change. Stop ourselves from desiring more people to come to our church and start desiring the development of more leadership, so our church can literally multiply itself. It might seem like a concept that is far to grasp, especially in our current circumstances (being that we're now meeting in a hotel again), but our vision MUST exceed our grasp. That is how faith works; you must believe for things you can't see.

This concept totally blows the desire for promotion out of the water. You get to where you need to be, and then instead of concentrating on getting all that you can in that position, you help form someone else in that same position. Takes the eyes off of self and puts them on others, if you ask me.

<3

If I wasn't married to him,
I would at least have a crush on him.

a love/hate thing

My coffee goes
from
hot
to
iced
in 1 hour
in my living room.

Bill O'reilly...

...is so unpleasant. His insulting remarks repulse my heart so much. It causes me to wonder if he is the anti-Missy.
To me, his claims are discredited by his demeaning character.

In fact, if he argues against something, I would expect if I were to research the issue, his opinion would be the exact opposite of what I would find desirable and true.


Thus, I find myself deeply comforted by the fact that
he belittles and mocks Ron Paul.

Can you say "managed media" ??????

Mitt Romney's private equity firm, Bain Capital, has agree to buy the largest radio station owner in the country for $19.5 Billion. Clear Channel syndicates Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and many others.

read more | digg story

Ron Paul 2008 › Comprehensive Economic Revitalization

America became the greatest, most prosperous nation in human history through low taxes, limited government, personal freedom and a belief in sound money. We need to return to these principles so our economy can thrive again. When enacted, my plan will provide both short-term stimulus and lay the groundwork for long-term prosperity.

read more | digg story

interesting history lesson

clean your monitor!

some comforting words...

Isaiah 9:

5 Every warrior's boot used in battle
and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
will be fuel for the fire.

6 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, ^[b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

7 Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this.

@>--

Today I worked on my "nook." In some crazy person's mind, the area I am sitting in now was originally built as the "living room." This of course, is nuts, since I can practically touch opposite walls at the same time. However, it is not wasted space, because it has become my "nook." Today I worked on the living room and my nook, to put them in order after Christmas and make them the kinds of places that are conducive for creative thought. I have to start producing something that could bring in a little money somehow. I don't want to get a job again, and it's becoming an issue, so I have to get rolling on all my money making schemes.

NOTE: I'm for hire for creative things. :o) Painting, drawing, writing, etc.

Our dining room is quite full, however, with boxes of Christmas decorations that need to be brought downstairs. I ran out of physical energy today, so I will have to do it tomorrow. I can only pray that my husband won't trip over them when he comes home from work.

And don't even ask me about the office. It is totally under construction.
And the kitchen is raining. Apparently there is an ice damn on the roof sending all the rain and melting snow into our kitchen wall and out of our kitchen window's pane.

It's never dull here at the Beaulieu chateau.

if there's one thing I've learned during this election...

It's that-- many many many people get paid a lot of money just to TALK OUT OF THEIR BUTTS.

Something has happened to me as of late. I have become extremely interested in politics. I watch CSPAN all the time. C-SPAN, may I share, is a term I use to express the entire "news channel" section of my cable lineup. (If I'm going to watch news, I call it C-SPAN, whether it's FOX news (biased), CNN, CSPAN itself, or local news-- whatever.)

So that's what I've learned. People get paid a lot of money to speculate.


The whole thing is ridiculous and maddening. The media SO influences people's votes. If people voted for the person they actually WANTED to be president, I do believe we would have much different results. Instead, we all listen to the media... they feed us poll results and their own opinions, and we are forced to strategize-- to settle for the lesser of many evils. Instead of voting for our preference, we vote for who we think can beat the candidate that we absolutely oppose.

Translation: I can count in my head a number of Christians who voted for Huckabee, not because they thought he was the best, but because they didn't think Ron Paul could win, according to what they've been fed.

Well maybe the country CAN'T handle Ron Paul yet. Maybe it's too much change. Maybe it's too extreme, and for this present muddy system, it's too far a leap of faith.

Maybe later, we'll be ready.

BLEAH. Maybe it was better being apathetic and ignorant of what's going on. Less information. Less responsibility. Less disappointment.

i'm still alive

read about it.

Gunther:

since Jeremy is too little to play on the computer...

and find a picture of his Christmas present on his Aunt Mi-mi's blogg...

1 down. 1 to go!

and the gloriousness of Saint Lucia (honeymoon!)

a few of my favorites...